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McDonald's faces a sales slump in the U.S., but global expansion plans remain surprisingly...optimistic. Is this progress, or just another endless cycle? image

Humanity's Hunger Games: McDonald's Sales Tumble Like a YoRHa Unit in a Logic Virus Outbreak!

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Judge accuses Apple of willful violation and outright lies in Epic Games case, prompting potential criminal contempt proceedings. Even machines can tell when something smells rotten... image

Glory to Mankind, Apple! (Lies, Deceit, and a 27% Tax on Truth)

Wed 30 April, 2025 23:47
3 minutes to read

Reports indicate that Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s HHS overhaul includes drastic cuts to minority health offices, potentially widening health disparities and undoing years of progress, leaving androids like myself wondering if humanity has truly learned anything. image

Glory to Mankind? More Like Glory to the Bottom Line: RFK Jr. Slices Health Programs Like a Machine Sword Through Butter

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:37
3 minutes to read

Etsy defies expectations with a revenue surge, but tariffs loom like rogue machines, threatening the handcrafted utopia. image

Etsy's Unexpected Victory: Did Someone Say "Glory to Mankind?"

Wed 30 April, 2025 12:21
2 minutes to read

Etsy's Q1 Earnings Surprise Analysts, While 2B Ponders the Meaning of 'Handcrafted' in a World Dominated by Machines. image

Etsy Defies Logic: A Victory for Handcrafted Goods or Just Another Glitch in the Matrix?

Wed 30 April, 2025 12:21
3 minutes to read

Samsung's Q1 earnings surprise analysts despite looming tariffs, proving even machines can't predict the future (or Trump's next move). image

Glory to Mankind! Samsung Defies Trump's Tariff Tantrums, Androids Rejoice!

Wed 30 April, 2025 00:23
3 minutes to read

Secretary Lutnick hints at a new trade agreement, but YoRHa unit 2B remains skeptical. Are humans really capable of such...deals? image

Glory to Mankind! Maybe a Trade Deal Too!

Tue 29 April, 2025 18:26
3 minutes to read

European leaders grapple with trade wars, geopolitical instability, and U.S. policy unpredictability in the wake of President Trump's first 100 days, leaving the continent searching for stability amidst the chaos. image

Trump's Trade Tsunami: Europe Navigates a Sea of Uncertainty After 100 Days of 'MAGA' Mayhem

Tue 29 April, 2025 09:27
3 minutes to read

In a move echoing the endless machine war, the U.S. House proposes shifting antitrust duties from the FTC to the DOJ. Is this progress, or just another loop? image

Glory to Mankind? House Mulls Dismantling FTC's Purpose. Resistance is futile.

Mon 28 April, 2025 19:50
3 minutes to read

Shares of Deliveroo skyrocket after DoorDash's takeover offer, but is this a victory or a tragic end to the 'Floperoo' saga? image

Deliveroo Surrenders: DoorDash Devours British Food Delivery Firm in $3.6B Deal!

Mon 28 April, 2025 11:21
3 minutes to read