This Is The Way... To Unconditional Surrender! Trump's Standoff With Iran Intensifies

Khamenei You Have Something I Want

Alright folks Mando here. Heard some noise from back in the Outer Rim about this Trump fella and some dust up with Iran. Seems like he's been throwin' around words like 'easy target' at this Ayatollah Khamenei. Says he knows where the guy's hidin'. Sounds like a bounty hunter's dream doesn't it? But then he goes and says he's not gonna 'take him out' for now. What's the deal? Is this a job or a negotiation? I hate negotiations. 'I can bring you in warm or I can bring you in cold.' But seems like Trump wants someone to bring him in in a white flag kinda way.

UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER! (This Is The Way)

So the big guy Trump wants "UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!" from Iran. Sounds like he's been watchin' too many holovids about the Mandalorians of old. We were never big on surrender but I guess everyone's got their own way. And who are we to judge eh? Maybe this is the way... to avoid more blaster fire at least. Though a little action never hurt anyone. I have spoken.

Netanyahu's Got A Bad Feeling About This

Heard ol' Netanyahu and Trump had a bit of a disagreement about blasting that Ayatollah. Netanyahu downplayed it but I've got a feeling it's more complicated than a thermal detonator's wiring. Politics eh? Makes smuggling Womp rats seem straightforward. But 'I'm a Mandalorian. Weapons are part of my religion'.

U.S. Ain't Directly Involved But...

The word from the top is that the U.S. ain't directly involved in this whole missile exchange between Iran and Israel. Right. And I'm a Jawa selling luxury speeders. But now Trump's making threats of direct intervention... sounds like he's about to pull a sneaky maneuver that even Jango Fett would appreciate.

Market Mayhem and Bunker Busters

Of course all this saber rattling is makin' the markets go haywire. Stocks droppin' oil prices jumpin'... sounds like a feeding frenzy for the vultures on Nar Shaddaa. And get this they're talkin' about using a 'bunker buster' bomb on some underground uranium enrichment facility. Sounds like a job for a good Mandalorian with a satchel charge. 'This is the way.'

Trump Declares Air Superiority Over Iran: Pew Pew Pew!

“We now have complete and total control of the skies over Iran.” He goes on about how their gear can't compare to American "stuff." Sounds like Trump's been talking to a droid again. 'I can bring you in warm or I can bring you in cold' but 'nobody does it better than the good ol' USA.' That's what Trump thinks anyway. I'll stick with my Amban phase pulse blaster thank you very much.