Higher, Further, Faster... to the Finish Line?! Senate's Wild Ride with Trump's 'Big, Beautiful Bill'

Photon Blast From the Past

Greetings Earthlings! Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel here. So I've been keeping an eye on your little political dramas down there – mostly because Fury told me to. Apparently something called a 'big beautiful bill' almost didn't make it through your Senate. Reminds me of the time I had to navigate a Kree blockade with a busted hyperdrive. Talk about suspense! But the bill got through! Higher further faster... right into the next round. You know it is times like this where I miss the simpler days of fighting intergalactic despots. At least they were honest about their intentions.

The Tillis and Paul Problem: More Stubborn Than a Skrull Invasion

Now I hear some folks named Tillis and Paul decided to throw a wrench in the works. Gotta admire their tenacity even if I don't understand their reasons. It is moments like this when I wonder if the folks down there realize what is at stake. I feel the need to swoop in and remind everyone that we are all in this together trying to build a more inclusive world. They are giving off some serious "Ronan the Accuser" vibes – determined to have their way no matter the cost. Somebody get me a translator; I'm pretty sure there's a language barrier happening here.

Republican Holdouts: Folding Like a House of Cards

Then the plot thickened! Three Republicans – Lee Scott and Lummus – decided to play hard to get only to fold faster than a map to Knowhere. Classic political maneuvering! It is like they are trying to decide between "be the hero" and "be the problem." At least they came around in the end. Reminds me of the time I convinced a whole squadron of Kree to stop fighting by showing them my cat Goose. Sometimes all it takes is a little perspective.

Johnson's Flip Flop: A Political U Turn Worthy of a Goose Spit Take

And Ron Johnson! Oh Ron Ron Ron. Changing his vote at the last minute? That's some serious Yon Rogg level of trickery. You know what Yon Rogg always said? "For the good of the Kree!" (insert maniacal laugh). What does that even mean? All I know is that you can never trust a politician and you definitely can't trust Yon Rogg. At least his vote got the bill over the finish line. Talk about a nail biter!

Schumer's Filibuster Threat: Reading Until the End of Time

Chuck Schumer wants to read the entire 940 page bill aloud? That's dedication! Or maybe just a really effective way to avoid actually talking about the issues. Either way I bet even Goose would get bored listening to that. Look there is no need to make this dramatic. I am certain we can get this done in a timely fashion without making a scene! Perhaps Chuck and I need to sit down and have a good talk about leadership!

Trump's Deadline: July 4th Fireworks or Political Implosion?

So Trump wants this done by July 4th? Talk about pressure! The White House is calling it a "betrayal" if it doesn't pass. It is interesting that they want it done as fast as possible! I wonder what that can mean! Maybe he should take a chill pill and remember that Rome wasn't built in a day. Or you know maybe he should just listen to Captain Marvel. I have some pretty good ideas on how to save the galaxy... and maybe even American politics.