Shiver Me Timbers! Trump's Tax Bill Hits Rough Seas!

A Pirate's Life for Taxes (and Trouble)!

Savvy? President Trump bless his barnacles be sailin' into a storm! Seems this 'tax bill' he's pushin' be meetin' more resistance than a sober pirate at a rum convention. Aye the House Republicans those landlubbers ain't so keen on signin' on the dotted line see? Somethin' about these 'SALT deductions' – sounds like a fancy spice but it's all about money of course. Why is the rum always gone?

The Curse of the SALT Caucus!

Now there be this 'SALT Caucus,' a motley crew if I ever saw one arguin' that the bill don't do enough for their constituents. They be from them fancy 'blue states,' where they pay more taxes than a pirate spends on rum. Trump and Speaker Johnson they be wantin' this bill passed before Memorial Day but these SALT lovin' scallywags be threatenin' to scupper the whole plan! Blast their black hearts!

Trump's Charm Offensive: 'Let It Go'?

Trump himself went to Capitol Hill tryin' to sweet talk these stubborn buccaneers. He even told 'em 'Let it go!' as if taxes were a lost treasure they could just forget about. And to one poor bloke a Rep. Lawler he declared he knew his district better than he did! Now that's either confidence or madness...or maybe a bit of both. 'The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.' Savvy?

A Pirate's Promise: Empty Bottles and Broken Deals!

These SALT Caucus members they released a statement callin' for 'a fair SALT deduction'. They say Trump promised to restore SALT which is why they voted for him. 'We hope his remarks today motivate the Speaker to advance a SALT proposal that delivers meaningful relief for our middle class constituents.' Blimey sounds like someone's holdin' the President to his word! But as we pirates know promises are like the wind – often broken.

Donor States: More Like Doomed States!

The statement goes on to say that their states are 'donor states,' subsidizin' the 'fiscally responsible red states.' As if bein' responsible were a virtue! Where's the fun in that? Sounds like these states be feelin' like they be payin' for everyone else's grog. Perhaps they need a better accountant. I know a guy...

Medicaid Mayhem: A Pirate's Plea!

To add to the chaos some conservatives want to cut even more from Medicaid that health coverage program. Trump apparently told them 'Don't f around with Medicaid.' Strong words from a strong man. Still even a Captain as charming as meself couldn't navigate these treacherous waters without a few spills savvy? Now where's that bottle of rum?