The Advertising Apocalypse is Nigh! Or is it Just a Mildly Irritating Head Cold?

Victory is Mine! Or Is It?

Oh hello there world. Stewie Griffin here your resident evil genius and connoisseur of all things fabulous. I've decided to lend my considerable intellect to the mundane topic of… advertising. Yes the stuff that interrupts my meticulously planned world domination schemes with singing toilets and talking bears. Apparently the advertising market is feeling rather chipper about 2025. Media executives are practically giddy or as giddy as those dullards can get about sports rights and live programming. It seems that the masses are still easily distracted by grown men chasing balls and celebrities tripping on stairs. Pathetic really. But hey if it lines my pockets I suppose I can tolerate it. After all I need to fund my ray guns somehow.

The Election Is Over! Time to Buy More Useless Crap!

The grown ups seem to be saying that the end of the election uncertainty has helped improve the advertising outlook. Apparently people were too busy arguing about politics to buy things. Frankly I find that hard to believe. Can't they argue AND shop? Honestly people these days... Also it seems that while everyone's abandoning 'traditional TV' like it's a soiled diaper the very same 'traditional TV' is apparently still 'important' when it comes to sports. So to recap: old people like TV young people like streaming and everyone likes sports. Got it? Good. Now I need a martini... shaken not stirred you philistine.

Normalization? Is That Even a Word?

According to some bloke named Mark Marshall from NBCUniversal "Normalization is the right way to say it with the advertising market." Is 'normalization' even a word? It sounds dreadfully…normal. He also mumbles something about scatter market budgets and how the first quarter is looking “really strong.” Meanwhile Dan Porter from Overtime is whining about election years messing with ad spending as if that is an excuse. Honestly if I were in charge I'd just hypnotize everyone into buying whatever I wanted. Much more efficient. And let's not forget the ever insightful Natalie Bastian from Teads who expects “a lot of the same trends.” Groundbreaking analysis that. Perhaps she should stick to selling tea instead of peddling ideas.

One Trillion Dollars? I'll Take Two!

Apparently the global advertising industry is expected to surpass $1 trillion. One trillion dollars! I could buy so many laser pointers! And digital platforms are apparently the ones driving this surge. So all those cat videos and influencer spon con are actually worth something. Who knew? Meanwhile TV is only expected to grow by a measly 2%. It's like watching that blithering idiot Peter try to solve a Rubik's Cube – slow painful and ultimately pointless. But hey at least they're trying right? Maybe.

Sports: The Opium of the Masses (and Advertisers)

Sports keep attracting big audiences and advertisers. Who'd have thought? They get 24% more engagement for their commercials than other programming! Which is still less engagement than I get when I simply make an entrance! It seems 'live event coverage' is important to media companies and streaming services need to enhance the experience with “personalized non disruptive ad units.” Personalized ads? Are we talking about ads tailored to my exquisite taste in weaponry and world domination paraphernalia? Because I am all for that! Comcast is bragging about their Summer Olympics ad revenue (yawn) and Fox sold out of Super Bowl ads for about $7 million each. At least Disney sold out of ads for their NBA games. Oh and don't even get me started on the WNBA! Apparently Caitlin Clark is single handedly saving women's sports... and advertisers are taking notice.

Linear TV: Not Dead Yet!

Despite the cord cutting frenzy linear TV is still kicking around like a cockroach after a nuclear blast. Executives like Amy Leifer from DirecTV are shouting from the rooftops that “TV is TV,” no matter how it's delivered. Apparently linear TV still generates six times more ad impressions than streaming. Six times! It's like finding out that Brian still prefers kibble over caviar. Shocking I tell you! So everyone's trying to figure out how to combine linear and streaming advertising. It seems the advertisers used to be focused on linear “versus” streaming but now it's all about linear “AND” streaming. Maybe just maybe these people aren't as dense as they appear. But then again probably not. Now if you'll excuse me I have a time machine to recalibrate. World domination awaits!