It's-a Me, Mario, Reporting on Health Scans! Wahoo!

Mamma Mia! What's a Happenin'?

It's a me Mario reporting live from the Mushroom Kingdom… or well kinda. Seems these folks at Function Health did a 'super' move and bought Ezra a company that does these fancy full body MRI scans. They say it's gonna help people see what's goin' on inside! 'Here we go!' with a new era of healthcare!

160 Blood Tests? That's a More Than I Eat Spaghetti!

So Function Health has this thing where you pay $499 a year and they poke you with needles for over 160 blood tests! Sounds like a Bowser trap but they say it's to keep track of your health. Now with Ezra they're adding these scans so you can see even MORE! It's a like finding a hidden block but instead of a mushroom you find out if you need a check up!

From $1,495 to $499? That's a Cheaper Than a Trip to Peach's Castle!

Before these Ezra scans were like super expensive! Like almost $1,500! But now they're doing a new one that only takes 22 minutes and costs just $499. That's a thanks to some fancy AI they say. Makes you wonder if it can also help me find Princess Peach faster! 'It's on like Donkey Kong!' as they say.

Kim Kardashian Does It? Must Be Trendy!

Apparently these full body scans are all the rage because… *ahem*… some famous people post about them on social media. I guess if it's good enough for them it's good enough for the Mushroom Kingdom! Just hope they don't find any rogue Goombas inside!

Prenuvo vs. Ezra: A Rivalry As Old As Bowser and Me!

Seems Ezra has a rival named Prenuvo who also does these scans and even does blood tests too. It's a like me and Bowser always competing! Except instead of kidnapping princesses they're trying to get people to scan their bodies. 'Let's a go!' and see who comes out on top!

A Saving Lives! It's a What I Do Best!

Dr. Hyman from Function Health says this is all about making fancy healthcare available to everyone. He even says it can save lives! Just like I save Princess Peach from Bowser! So maybe these scans aren't so bad after all. 'Thank you so much for a playing my game!'… er getting your health checked!