License to Ill: Big Pharma's Tax Evasion Scheme Exposed!

A License to Shill?

Moneypenny darling it seems those blighters at Big Pharma are at it again. Senators Warren and Schakowsky have sent some rather pointed letters to Pfizer Merck Johnson & Johnson AbbVie and Amgen. Accusations are flying faster than a speeding Aston Martin about them paying next to nothing in taxes while raking in billions. A bit like Goldfinger really – obsessed with hoarding their treasure.

The Trump Card: A Taxing Situation

Apparently this whole mess stems from Trump's 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act. The idea was to stop companies from dodging taxes but it seems to have had the opposite effect. Now these pharmaceutical giants are shifting their profits to sunny locales like Ireland and Bermuda. 'A martini. Shaken not stirred and definitely not taxed,' they probably chuckled.

Lobbying: For Your Eyes Only (and Congress)

The letters suggest these companies have been spending a fortune lobbying Congress to keep this tax loophole alive. Johnson & Johnson alone dropped over $150,000 in a single quarter! It's enough to make Blofeld blush. One wonders if they're using the same tactics as Le Chiffre in 'Casino Royale' – a bit of bribery here a bit of blackmail there. 'Do you expect me to pay taxes?' 'No Mr. Bond I expect you to lobby!'

The GoldenEye of Tax Havens

Warren and Schakowsky point out that this is just another way the tax code is rigged to benefit the wealthy. They're making a killing off Americans charging the highest drug prices in the world and then skipping out on their taxes. It's a bit rich even for Auric Goldfinger.

A View to a Kill (the Loophole)

The Democrats are trying to rally public opposition to these tax breaks but with the Republicans holding a majority in the Senate it's going to be an uphill battle. It's like trying to disarm a nuclear warhead with a paperclip – tricky but not impossible. Still they're hoping to make enough noise to force some changes. "We have been expecting you Mr. Pharma. To pay your fair share that is!"

Diamonds Are Forever (But Taxes Aren't)

And it's not the first time these companies have been under scrutiny. Pfizer in particular has been accused of pulling off 'the largest tax dodging scheme' in pharmaceutical history. They're funnelling profits through offshore subsidiaries like they're Q giving me a new gadget. Let's hope this time the good guys win. After all 'the name's Bond James Bond and I approve this message.'