Hinge Health IPO: Chuck Norris Approves (With a Roundhouse Kick of Fiscal Responsibility)

Hinge Health's Audacity: A Chuck Norris Perspective

So Hinge Health thinks it can raise $437 million huh? In this economy? That's bolder than facing me after I’ve run out of beard oil. They’re aiming for $28 to $32 a share. Back in my day a dollar was worth a dollar and you could buy a whole lot of respect with it. Now respect is earned with compound interest and a diversified portfolio. Let's see if Hinge can deliver they are trying to sell about 13.7 million shares in the offering but if they mess it up remember I don’t do push ups I push the world down.

Valuation Revelation: Two Billion Dollars and Change

A $2.42 billion valuation? That's a lot of zeros. More zeros than the number of times I've been defeated in a fight which is zero. They say it could be higher but potential is like a loaded weapon – useless unless you know how to aim. Hinge uses software to help folks with injuries and chronic pain you know pain is just weakness leaving the body but sometimes it needs a little help out the door. Hopefully they will stick to digital health I hate surgeries I once performed open heart surgery using only a pocket knife and a roll of duct tape.

IPO Bravery: Ignoring the Trump Effect

Trump’s tariffs caused market turmoil? Please. I once caused a stock market crash by simply staring at the Dow Jones. Hinge is pushing forward anyway like a Texas Ranger chasing down a bad guy. And Omada Health is joining the fray. That's two digital health companies stepping into the arena. It’s like a double dose of courage… or maybe they just haven't seen me do a roundhouse kick to a bear market yet.

The Numbers Don't Lie (Unless I’m Counting)

Revenue is up 50% to $123.8 million. Not bad. Not bad at all. Last quarter they reported $117.3 million up 44%. These are the kinds of numbers I like to see – numbers that say 'Hey we're not messing around.' But numbers can be deceiving. Remember before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

NYSE: HNGE – The Symbol of Hope (and Profits?)

HNGE. That’s their ticker symbol. Sounds like a sound a door makes when you kick it open. Fitting since they're trying to kick open the doors to Wall Street riches. They've raised over a billion dollars already valued at $6.2 billion back in 2021. But remember money doesn't grow on trees. It grows on the blood sweat and tears of entrepreneurs… and maybe a few roundhouse kicks to the competition.

The Shareholders: Insight and Atomico in the Driver's Seat

Insight Partners and Atomico own big chunks of the stock. That’s like having two Texas Rangers backing you up in a bar fight. You're probably going to win. But even with the best partners you still need to be prepared. Always remember if you want a guarantee buy a toaster. But if you want success buy Hinge Health stock… maybe.