By Zeus! Is Russia Really Going to Ghost Iran? A Wonder Woman Report

Ares Would Be Proud But I'm Not!

Greetings mortals! Wonder Woman here reporting live from Themyscira—well virtually anyway. It seems that the delicate dance of international relations has taken a rather dramatic turn. The U.S. has shall we say 'obliterated' (Trump's words not mine—though I've seen my fair share of obliteration courtesy of Ares!) Iranian nuclear facilities. Now Iran is turning to its buddy Russia for help. But by Hera will Russia actually lend a hand? That is the question.

Putin's Pickle: Sanctions or Support?

Apparently Iran's Foreign Minister has hopped on a jet to Moscow for some 'serious consultations' with President Putin. And let's be honest when a foreign minister says 'serious consultations,' it usually means someone is in deep trouble. Iran has been supplying Russia with drones for its ahem 'special military operation' in Ukraine. Seems fair they should return the favour right? But analysts are saying Putin might not have much to offer beyond a sympathetic pat on the back and maybe some strongly worded statements. You know the usual diplomatic mumbo jumbo. After all Putin needs those weapons for the war and according to Holger Schmieding chief economist at Berenberg Bank if Putin annoys Trump over Iran Trump may impose new sanctions on Russia or weaken Putin's position in other ways. It's like being stuck between a Gorgon and a hard place!

Ukraine Oil and a Crumbling Alliance

So what's in it for Russia? Well a distracted West means less attention on Ukraine. Higher oil prices? Ka ching! More money for the war effort. But here's the rub: another weakened ally in the Middle East? Not ideal. Remember Syria? The ousting of Assad's regime put Moscow's air and naval bases in doubt. It seems like Russia is losing all its allies in the middle east. Alliances are tricky things like lassoing a particularly stubborn Minotaur. They require constant attention and sometimes a good whack with a tiara.

Follow the Money Darling!

Nikita Smagin from the Carnegie Russia Eurasia Center says Russia is undecided on the war in the Middle East because Russia has invested heavily in various projects in Iran all of which could now go to waste. Before the bombing Russia was Iran's largest foreign investor! We're talking billions in oil gas and infrastructure. Now all that is in jeopardy. It seems Putin is more interested in counting his drachmas than being a true ally. 'What you do is not who you are'. Unless it’s shady business dealings apparently.

The Lasso of Truth Says...

So what's the verdict? Will Russia help Iran? My Lasso of Truth suggests... a whole lot of diplomatic tap dancing and very little actual help. Putin will likely offer words maybe some economic support if it doesn't ruffle too many feathers in Washington. But sending in the tanks? Unlikely. He’s not that selfless.

My Two Drachmas

Ultimately this situation is a reminder that even in the 21st century alliances are fickle and geopolitical strategy often boils down to who has the shiniest weapons and the deepest pockets. And as I always say 'Fighting doesn't make you a hero.' Maybe it's time for everyone to take a deep breath put down the swords (or bombs) and try talking things out. Though knowing humanity I'm not holding my breath. Wonder Woman out!