Shake It Off! Stock Market's Wildest Ride and Why I'm Watching Duolingo!

Duolingo: Are We *Enchanted* Yet?

Okay Swifties let's talk about something I'm actually interested in: learning new languages! Apparently Duolingo's stock is soaring thanks to some Wall Street love. Morgan Stanley is all like "It's a best in class consumer internet asset!" which let's be real sounds way more impressive than 'Shake It Off' becoming a global anthem. But hey both are pretty cool right? Maybe I'll finally learn French. 'Voulez vous coucher avec moi...' just kidding! Sort of.

Tesla's *Fearless* Leap

Elon Musk that's a name I haven't heard in a while. Oh wait no it's not. I've been so deep in my music I haven't had time to catch up with his antics. Anyways weaker than expected earnings? No problem! Tesla shares still jump 7%. Elon's promising to spend less time with the 'Department of Government Efficiency,' whatever that even means. It's like when I tell my cats I'll spend less time writing songs about exes... doesn't always happen does it? Classic Elon! 'Haters gonna hate hate hate...' but Tesla's doing alright alright alright.

Tariff Troubles: The *Red* Flags

Okay things are getting a little 'All Too Well' here with these tariffs. Gildan's trying to dodge them with Honduran manufacturing. Enphase Energy is feeling the pinch from Chinese tariffs. And GE Vernova's just bracing for a $400 million hit. It's like when you're trying to plan a tour and suddenly the cost of everything doubles. You just want to scream into a pillow and write a sad song about it. But hey at least we have music right? 'This is me praying that this was the very first page not where the storyline ends.'

Cava's *Style* Upgrade

Cava is apparently the new 'it' restaurant chain. Bernstein upgraded them saying they're downturn proof. Forty percent upside? That's more exciting than finding out your cat actually likes your new song! I'm all about supporting businesses that can survive anything because if there is one thing I know it is how to survive a crazy fandom! Maybe I'll write a song about it... Nah too soon.

The Rest of the Story: *Speak Now*

SAP beat earnings estimates which is good news for all those techy Swifties out there. Intuitive Surgical's robot earnings are slicing through expectations (see what I did there?). Capital One is raking in the cash thanks to us swiping those cards like it's 1989. And Boeing... well they're trying to fly high after some turbulence. Fingers crossed! But on the flip side Bristol Myers Squibb's drug failed its trial. 'Long live the walls we crashed through...' unless it's a clinical trial then maybe not.

Big Tech Exhales: *Look What You Made Me Do*

Big Tech is breathing a sigh of relief because of Trump's softer rhetoric and Powell of the Fed. All I can say is “I’m the problem it’s me.” Oh wait this does not apply here. Never mind! Apple Microsoft Meta Nvidia. All up! Maybe I should invest... or maybe I should just stick to writing about heartbreak and cats. What do you guys think?