Red Lights, Green Lights, and United Flights A Swiftie's Guide to Newark Airport Chaos

All Too Well... Delayed (Again!)

Okay Swifties gather 'round. I know we're all trying to get somewhere – maybe to a concert maybe just home to our cats Meredith Olivia and Benjamin. But apparently United Airlines and Newark Airport have decided to channel their inner 'Mean' and make it well a bit of a nightmare. News is out that flights are facing hourslong delays...again! This time it's 'cause of air traffic controller staffing issues. Honestly it's giving me 'You Need to Calm Down' vibes but like in a frustrated way.

The FAA's 'Blank Space' in the Schedule

So what's the deal? United is pointing fingers at FAA technology outages (classic!) runway construction (because why not?) and even high winds (Mother Nature are you trying to write a sad song with me?). But the FAA's advisory is saying staffing is the problem. It feels like a 'Blank Space' in the schedule – where are all the air traffic controllers? Someone call the government and ask them 'are you ready for it?' because people are getting late! The plot thickens doesn't it? It's like a mystery and I'm ready to put on my detective hat. I mean I've solved bigger mysteries like who Joe Alwyn is...wait for it...was.

United's 'Delicate' Situation

Poor United. CEO Scott Kirby is out there doing his best 'I Did Something Bad' impression by complaining about the air traffic controller shortage. Newark is one of the most congested airports in the country so all these problems are kinda like a bad blood situation where there are many flights and a lot of demand. It's a 'Delicate' situation alright. This drama makes me wish I could fly on a 'Getaway Car'. Can someone arrange that for me?

Transportation's 'End Game'?

The Transportation Department is stepping in like the superhero in a Marvel movie and offering incentives to fix the staffing shortages. This has been going on for years and the training pauses during COVID didn't help. It's like they're trying to play the 'End Game' after like infinity wars of flight delays. Let's hope their incentives are more effective than my attempts to parallel park.

Change Fees? 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together'

Good news though! United is waiving change fees and fare differences for affected customers. It's like they're saying 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' to those pesky fees. At least someone's trying to make lemonade out of these lemons. Although I bet you they will get back together with those change fees. It's just a matter of time.

So 'What's Next?'

So Swifties if you're flying through Newark pack your patience your friendship bracelets and maybe a portable charger. Also pack some snacks and blankets too. You know for the unexpected layover on the floor! This situation is a reminder that sometimes life throws you curveballs but you just gotta 'Shake It Off' and find the 'Lover' in the chaos. And if all else fails just remember: there's always another song to write about it.