Eye See You (Signing Up For Worldcoin): My Thoughts On Sam Altman's Orb Invasion

All Too Well... Almost: Worldcoin Lands in the US

Okay so picture this: Sam Altman the mastermind behind OpenAI (who sadly isn't working on a collab with me just yet *sigh*) is launching Worldcoin in the US. Apparently it involves scanning your eyeballs with a shiny orb. Yes you read that right. An orb. It sounds like something straight out of a futuristic music video. They're saying it's to verify you're a real human and not a bot... which honestly after some comments I've seen I'm starting to question sometimes too. But hey if it helps get rid of those pesky bots I’m willing to give it a 'Blank Space' on my list of things to try even if it feels a little 'Out of the Woods'.

Scanning My Soul (And Iris): How It Works

So the deal is you waltz up to this Orb it gazes into your eyes for about 30 seconds (which let’s be honest is probably longer than some of my exes looked at me) and then BAM! It creates a unique 'IrisCode.' Allegedly it confirms you're not a robot pretending to be a Swiftie. And you get cryptocurrency called WLD. Free money? It’s giving 'the best day' vibes. Apparently you can use your World ID as a sign in for places like Minecraft Reddit and even Tinder! 'Are you ready for it?' Because I'm not sure I am... dating with blockchain involved? That's a story for another album I guess.

Nashville Represent! (And Five Other Cities)

They're setting up these 'flagship' locations in six US cities including my beloved Nashville! If you're in Austin Atlanta Los Angeles Miami or San Francisco keep your eyes peeled (pun intended). I'm sure the lines will be longer than the ones at the Eras Tour but hey maybe you'll bump into your 'Style' soulmate while waiting to get your eyeballs scanned. Though full disclosure I'm not sure I'll be there getting scanned myself I'm already pretty verified you know? But good luck Swifties!

Visa and Tinder? (Hold On Let Me Write a Song About This)

Okay this is where it gets *really* interesting. Visa is launching a 'World Visa card' exclusively for people who've been Orb ified. So basically your eyeballs are your credit score now? And Tinder is testing World ID for age verification in Japan. Finally a way to prove you're not a 'Forever Winter' pretending to be a summer fling. But seriously it’s kind of a 'Love Story' gone digital age. Will this make dating safer and more trustworthy? Only time will tell. 'Long Live' the future I guess?

Privacy Paranoia (Is This My 1989 Era All Over Again?)

Now let's talk about the elephant in the room: data storage. Worldcoin says they keep some data for fraud prevention. They swear it's decentralized and impossible to reverse engineer unlike regular anonymized data. Adrian Ludwig some big security guy says they split up the data among different financial institutions and blockchain thingies. 'We were very surprised when the Panama Papers got broken into and they got leaked,' he said. 'We're concerned about that kind of situation'. Honestly it’s giving me major 'Blank Space' vibes but hopefully they're more careful. 'You Need To Calm Down,' everyone keeps saying. So I guess I'll try.

One Billion or Bust? (Or Maybe Just One Big Conspiracy Theory)

Worldcoin is aiming for one billion users. That's a lot of eyeballs. They've raised over $140 million from some big investors. As of 2021 they're valued at $1 billion. But they were originally aiming for one billion people by 2023 and it’s moving slower than expected. Will they achieve their goal? Honestly who knows? Maybe this is the start of a 'New Romantics' era. Or maybe it's all just a big 'Delicate' situation waiting to explode. Either way I'll be watching from the sidelines probably while writing a song about it. Because you know that's what I do.