Holy Kryptonite! A-Rod and Lore Slam Dunk Ownership of Timberwolves After Epic Battle!

Up Up and A Way They Go!

Great Rao! Even I had to double check my heat vision on this one. After what seemed like an eternity – longer than waiting for Lois to finish an article on deadline and that's saying something – Marc Lore and Alex Rodriguez are officially steering the good ship Timberwolves! The NBA's Board of Governors gave the green light faster than I can fly around the world approving the sale of controlling interest from Glen Taylor. Thirty one years folks! That's a whole era practically a geological age in basketball terms. You know what they say 'There's always a way,' and in this case it was through sheer tenacity like trying to bend steel...which you know I can do.

From Dugout to Courtside: A New Kind of Home Run

The price tag? A cool $1.5 billion. That’s enough to buy a whole lot of kryptonite…not that I’m planning on it or anything. Lore and A Rod will be co chairmen because sharing is caring right? Lore gets to be the Timberwolves' governor while A Rod chills as the alternate. For the Lynx they switch it up like Clark Kent changing into his… well you get the idea. These guys are taking this seriously more serious than Perry White when someone misspells 'Metropolis.'

The Taylor Interruption: A Villainous Twist!

But wait there’s more! Like a Bizarro version of a happy ending Glen Taylor tried to pull the plug in March faster than I can fly to the moon. Apparently there were some 'contractual deadlines' missed. Shades of Lex Luthor! Luckily Lore and Rodriguez took it to arbitration – a battle more intense than my last showdown with Doomsday. They emerged victorious with a 2 1 decision. Justice prevailed like truth and justice did with me! Sometimes even in the business world you gotta stand for what's right.

Triple Approval: Even the NBA Couldn't Resist!

The NBA actually signed off on this deal not once not twice but thrice! In 2021 and 2023 Lore and Rodriguez scooped up about 20 percent of the Timberwolves and Lynx shares. It's like they were building their fortress of solitude one brick at a time. All that was left for them to do was just be patient like me and wait for them to approve it all. Guess they figured they might as well join the winning team. Smart move folks. Very smart.

From $88 Million to...Ka Ching!

Now let's take a trip down memory lane and look at the Timberwolves purchase price back in 1994. Taylor snagged the Timberwolves for a mere $88 million. Now that is one smart investment right there! Someone should give this guy an award or at least name a hotdog after him. You know the American Dream in action. I'm sure he feels great!

A New Dawn for Minnesota: Faster than a speeding bullet!

So here we are at the dawn of a new era for the Timberwolves and Lynx. Will they soar to new heights? Will they bring home championships? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: it's going to be an interesting ride. As for me I'll be watching from above always ready to lend a hand... or a heat vision blast... if things get too crazy. Because remember folks 'There is a right and a wrong in the universe and the distinction is not hard to make.' Let's hope Lore and A Rod know the difference!