Tesla Hires Chipotle CFO: Will Burritos Save Elon's EV Empire?

Another Day Another Board Member!

Alright folks Mr. Beast here and you know I'm all about investing – whether it's in chocolate bars or apparently Tesla now? Word on the street is Tesla just snagged Jack Hartung from Chipotle to join their board. Yeah the burrito guy! Apparently Elon's been spread thinner than my last layer of wrapping on a chocolate bar dealing with everything from DOGE (not the cute Shiba Inu kind) to low sales so maybe he needs someone to count the beans or in this case the battery cells.

From Burritos to Batteries

Hartung's got quite the track record. He helped Chipotle's stock go up like a gazillion percent since they went public. So can he do the same for Tesla? Honestly if anyone can turn things around it's someone who knows how to make a profit on something as simple as a burrito. Maybe he will give us some financial savvy. Because right now it's like Tesla's giving away money. I've seen them lower prices on cars just to move inventory!

Elon's Side Hustle Problem

Speaking of Elon the article mentions he's been juggling Tesla with his role in Trump's DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency). Sounds like a challenge... Elon dude are you sure you're not trying to do too much? I get wanting to change the world but even I know I can't hand out money to everyone all the time! "I am an idiot!" Okay sometimes I do but still!

Family Ties!

Okay this is where it gets a little spicy. Turns out Hartung's son in law works for Tesla and Hartung's got history with Elon's brother Kimbal. Kimbal served on Chipotle's board with Hartung for a while! Small world right? It's like when I found out Chandler used to work with Logan Paul. "Could you BE any more sus?" Anyway let's hope this isn't just another case of 'scratch my back I scratch yours' and that Hartung actually has a plan to get Tesla back on track.

Tesla Diner in LA?

Also apparently Tesla is opening a diner in Los Angeles. A diner! After seven years of development which seems like a lot for burgers and fries but okay. Are we gonna get Tesla branded ketchup? Will the waiters be robots? Will they be paid with Bitcoin? So many questions! This feels like my chocolate factory but instead of chocolate they sell burgers. I'm not sure if this will make Tesla the next trillion dollar company but okay. Let's get this thing rolling!

The Future of Tesla

So what's the takeaway? Tesla's bringing in fresh blood which could be a good thing. Whether Hartung can whip Tesla into shape remains to be seen but at least they're trying something new. Let's hope this new board member can actually do something. You know this reminds me of the time I gave my friend a hundred million dollars but they still needed help. This is kind of the same concept. But hey I am always on the side of doing big things and trying new things. Just remember even if things look tough never give up and always be a beast! Peace!