Million-Dollar 'Starter Homes'? Seriously? Even I Wouldn't Pay That!

What In The Dunk Is Going On Here?

Alright folks MJ here. I've seen some crazy things in my day – bad calls tough defenders and Dennis Rodman's wardrobe choices. But this news about 'starter homes' costing a million bucks? That's just…personal. Back when I was coming up a 'starter home' meant a place where you could hang your hat maybe shoot some hoops in the driveway. Now? You need a championship ring just to afford the down payment! Zillow says 233 cities have these million dollar 'starter' pads. Seriously? That's more cities than I have signature shoes! And that’s saying something. Someone needs to tell these prices to 'Be Like Mike'... and chill out!

Location Location Inflation!

They’re telling me these crazy prices are in places like California New York and now even Michigan and Missouri. I get it location is everything. It's like being on the court – you gotta be in the right spot to make the shot. But these prices are like trying to guard me in my prime – impossible! It used to be just the big cities jacking up prices but now it's spreading faster than my highlights in the 90s. What's next a million dollar shack in Wyoming? I hope not. I’d rather spend that money on a decent cigar and a round of golf.

Blame It On The Pandemic (and Everything Else)

The article says the pandemic slowed down construction making houses scarcer than tickets to a Bulls game in '96. Prices are up 45% since 2020! 45%! I didn’t even improve my free throw percentage that much in my whole career! Then they hit you with rising mortgage rates and fees? It’s like getting fouled every time you drive to the basket. They are making it harder to score that's for sure.

The Age of the First Time Buyer: Officially Ancient

So who's buying these overpriced boxes? Apparently the average first timer is 38 years old now. 38! That’s practically retirement age in basketball years! Back when I was 38 I was busy winning championships not haggling over a mortgage. And they say the percentage of first time buyers is at an all time low. No wonder! Who wants to start their adult life buried under a mountain of debt? Not me! That kind of pressure would make even me miss a game winning shot.

Air Jordan's Advice: Fake Right Go Left!

Look I’m no financial advisor but here's what I know: sometimes you gotta fake right to go left. Maybe it's time to think outside the McMansion. Consider smaller towns different states maybe even… dare I say it… renting for a while? Don't let these crazy prices push you out of the game. Be smart be strategic and don't be afraid to pivot. Remember even I had to adjust my game over the years. “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it go through it or work around it.”

Just Do It (…But Smartly)

And hey if you're still stuck in a dead end job trying to save for a down payment CNBC’s offering some course on switching careers. Might be worth a shot. A new career could be your 'flu game' – the unexpected win that changes everything. Just remember whether you're buying a house or chasing a dream “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go check on my golf course. At least I know the price of a round won't give me a heart attack. Peace out! And remember “Talent wins games but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.” So get a good team of advisors!