A satirical look at recent Wall Street ratings, from Broadcom's infrastructure dominance to Tesla's bumpy robotaxi road, all through the eyes (and filter) of yours truly.
A satirical look at recent Wall Street ratings, from Broadcom's infrastructure dominance to Tesla's bumpy robotaxi road, all through the eyes (and filter) of yours truly.

Broadcom: Building the Infrastructure (and My Next VR Headset)

Alright folks let's talk Broadcom. Jefferies is bullish raising their target price. And frankly I'm not surprised. They're leading the charge in infrastructure semiconductors and software. Think of it as the digital plumbing for the metaverse. The better the pipes the smoother the experience...and the less likely your avatar will glitch out mid meeting. We need that seamlessness trust me. Nobody wants to see my digital hair out of place. It's all about moving fast and breaking things...except maybe not the semiconductors. Those are pretty important.

Apple's Earnings: Even Tim Cook Has Bad Days

MoffettNathanson is bracing for a rough earnings report from Apple. Ouch. Look even the best companies have stumbles. It's all part of the process. No one builds a multi billion dollar empire without facing adversity. I've learned this firsthand. But asymmetry of risk? Lower estimates? Harsh man. Though I have to admit it's nice not to be the only one under the microscope for a change. Let's just say sometimes you're the apple and sometimes you're the...worm. You gotta keep building though. Keep innovating.

Nvidia: The Top Pick (and Maybe My Next Gaming Rig)

Morgan Stanley is still riding high on Nvidia. Top pick in semis they say. I concur! Gotta love Jensen Huang. The guy builds serious GPUs even though I have yet to see him in the Metaverse. Their demand and supply are tracking ahead of the Taiwanese anecdotes whatever that means! More power to them. Maybe I'll use some of their chips to create even more realistic avatars. The future is now people. The future is rendered.

Tesla's Robotaxis: Bumpy Road? More Like Off Roading to the Future!

William Blair is sticking with Tesla even with the "bumpy road ahead" comment. See that's the thing about innovation. It's never smooth. Especially when you're talking about robotaxis. I mean autonomous vehicles are basically the metaverse on wheels right? Except instead of avatars you're dealing with...well real people. Neural nets and vision only? Bold move Elon. But hey he's always been about disrupting the status quo. And maybe just maybe one day I can take a robotaxi to a virtual meeting in the metaverse. Talk about synergy! I'm encouraging investors to use bumps along the road tactically as well.

Disney's Comeback: Magic is Real (Especially for Shareholders)

Jefferies upgraded Disney! Finally some good news for the Mouse! They see limited risk of a theme park slowdown plus some FY26 cruise upside. This reminds me of when I added watermarks to Facebook photos. People were upset but it was the right move. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions for the long term vision. Speaking of vision continued DTC margin expansion? Yes please. It's like the digital magic kingdom is finally paying off. Time to buy some more DIS for my kids...or maybe just myself. I am the CEO after all.

Metaverse or Bust: My Long Term Vision

The future is not a zero sum game and I'm betting big on the metaverse. Remember when people laughed at the idea of connecting with friends online? Now look where we are. So yeah Wall Street has its ups and downs its winners and losers. But the real game is about building something that lasts something that connects people something that pushes the boundaries of what's possible. Whether it's through semiconductors robotaxis or virtual worlds that's what I'm all about. Now if you'll excuse me I have a virtual meeting to attend. My avatar needs a new outfit.


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