Burger King's Dragon Gambit: A Whopper of a Marketing Ploy, or Just Playing with Fire?

The King's New Clothes (and Buns)

Right so Burger King that fast food chain that's been trailing behind the likes of McDonald's and Wendy's is trying a new trick. They're slinging 'Dragon Flame Grilled Whoppers' with buns that look like they've been through a dragon's digestive system. Red and orange marbled naturally. Seems they're hoping families will flock in lured by the promise of dining with mythical beasts. Clever but will it work? As Goldfinger once said 'Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.' Let's see if this turns into a full blown assault on the competition.

Family First Martini Second

Apparently Burger King's President Tom Curtis thinks targeting families is the key. He reckons parents are all over social media spreading the word faster than I can order a martini – shaken not stirred of course. They're chasing everyone from millennials to Generation Alpha those kids who probably think a rotary phone is a museum piece. It’s a bold strategy Cotton let’s see if it pays off for ‘em.

Dragon Fire and Fries: A Culinary Conflagration?

The menu you ask? We're talking 'Fiery Dragon Mozzarella Fries' – made with something called Calabrian chili pepper breading which honestly sounds like a recipe for disaster. And 'Soaring Strawberry Lemonade'. One shudders to think what that looks like after a few hours in the sun nevermind the potential for a sticky situation. Then there's the 'Viking's Chocolate Sundae' with Hershey's syrup and black and green cookie crumbles. Sounds like something Dr. No would serve at his lair. Still one must remain objective. Although I do prefer my villains with slightly better taste.

Hollywood and Hamburgers: A Timeless Romance

Burger King isn't new to this game. Back in '77 they were peddling 'Star Wars' glasses. McDonald's jumped in later with 'Star Trek'. Now they're banking on 'How to Train Your Dragon'. Curtis seems pretty chuffed about previous movie tie ins. The Spider Verse and Addams Family menus apparently moved quite a few Whoppers though admittedly I prefer my spiders and spooky families to stay out of my food.

No Artificial Nasties: A Healthier Way to Dine (or Die?)

They're also patting themselves on the back for using natural dyes avoiding those nasty artificial colors. It's all very noble I suppose. Although if I'm dodging bullets and disarming nuclear weapons I hardly have time to worry about what's in my burger. Still points for trying I suppose even if the results are... questionable.

Copycats and Comebacks: The Fast Food Cold War

Curtis claims McDonald's and Wendy's are copying their moves. 'Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery,' he says. It's a good line but in my line of work imitation often leads to explosive outcomes. Let's hope this 'Dragon' strategy doesn't end in a fiery corporate inferno. Because as we all know the name's Bond James Bond and I prefer my stakes high and my burgers… well let's just say I usually eat somewhere with a Michelin star.