Yo, Alphabet's Bank Account Just Got Jiggy With It!

Fresh Prince Approved Numbers Huh?

Alright check it! Alphabet the big cheese behind Google and YouTube just dropped their Q1 numbers and they're lookin' fresher than my Bel Air threads! We talkin' revenue of $90.23 billion beatin' expectations like Jazz tryna make it onto the dance floor. And earnings per share? $2.81! Even Geoffrey would crack a smile at that kinda dough.

YouTube Ads: Almost a Slam Dunk

Now YouTube ads came in a *tad* under what the fancy analysts were predictin' but hey $8.93 billion is still not too shabby. I mean that's enough to buy like a *lot* of Will Smith posters. Overall advertising brought in $66.89 billion. Not bad for a company that started as a search engine right? Word up!

AI Overviews: Gettin' Jiggy With 1.5 Billion Users

Google's AI Overviews that little AI brainiac at the top of your search results is now gettin' love from 1.5 billion users a month! That's like the entire population of a small planet! Seems like everyone wants a piece of that AI action even if it *does* sometimes give you some wacky answers. Remember that time Carlton tried to use AI to write a rap? Yeah... not always a smooth ride.

Trade Wars and Ad Dollars: Uh Oh Here Comes Trouble!

But hold up! There's trouble brewin' in paradise. Apparently this trade loophole thingamajig ending could mess with ad revenue especially from overseas. Some dude named Philipp Schindler said it might cause a "slight headwind". A headwind? Man I've faced worse headwinds trying to parallel park the Bentley in Beverly Hills. Still they say they got experience managing through tough times. They better! I got investments riding on this!

Cloud Computing: Reach for the Sky!

Alphabet's cloud biz is booming with revenue up 28% year over year! That’s right even though it came slightly below the target it increased! They're even buying Wiz for $32 billion to make their cloud game even stronger. Talk about levelling up! Reminds me of the time I tried to get Carlton to join my basketball team. Needed some serious firepower! Although his moves are rather goofy!

Waymo's Taking the Wheel... Literally

And Waymo their self driving car division is giving 250,000 rides a week! Pretty soon folks will be ditchin' their drivers faster than I ditched those Philly bullies. They're even throwing down $70 billion to buy back shares. Talk about keepin' it real! Looks like Alphabet's got the Midas touch... or maybe they just know how to "Git Gud!"