Chuck Norris on Resumes: Short Stints Don't Scare Me, But They Should Scare You!

The World Doesn't Revolve Around You But Your Career Should

Angela Beatty at Accenture says folks ain't sticking around at jobs for 30 years anymore. Fine by me. I change jobs every Tuesday just to keep things interesting. One week I'm a Texas Ranger the next I'm saving the world from ninjas. But I always make sure it's a job worth doing. And let me tell you if Chuck Norris sees a resume with more short stints than a Bruce Lee movie things are gonna get interesting. It's like the old saying goes: "Chuck Norris doesn't need a resume. He needs a warning label."

Red Flags? I See Opportunities!

Beatty's talking about how a string of jobs lasting a year or less is a red flag. Well red is my favorite color especially when it's the blood of my enemies... or just a perfectly grilled steak. But seriously if I saw that pattern I'd wonder if you could handle a real challenge. Like staring down a cobra. Or doing my taxes. It 'makes me question if they're able to gain some traction' she says. Traction? I invented traction! Before me the earth was just spinning aimlessly.

Hiring Managers: More Afraid of Chuck Norris Than Short Stints

A LinkedIn survey says 37% of hiring managers get spooked by job hoppers. That's because those hiring managers haven't met Chuck Norris. I look at that resume and I see someone who's either incredibly adaptable or incredibly indecisive. Either way a good roundhouse kick usually sorts things out. As Drew McCaskill said "if you were only there for nine months maybe you'll only be here for nine months". You know what I say? 9 months is too long for a job! Give me 9 minutes and I'll be running the company.

Context is King (and Chuck Norris is Emperor)

Beatty suggests providing context for those short gigs. Smart move. If you were promoted say so! If you were a freelancer explain it! The world needs to know! "Identify in a resume if it was specifically designed to be a shorter term engagement," she says. You bet. Honesty is the best policy unless you're dealing with terrorists. Then a swift kick to the face is usually more effective.

Turn That Interview into a Chuck Norris Approved Showdown

The interview is your chance to explain those short stints. As Beatty says "Interviewers appreciate authenticity." Tell 'em the truth! But make sure to sell yourself like you're selling me a lifetime supply of ammunition. "Share that the role did not work out as expected and be transparent about why it ended while underscoring an example of the positive impact you made." And if they still don't hire you just tell them Chuck Norris sent you. That usually works wonders.

If All Else Fails Roundhouse Kick Your Way to Success

Want a new career? Go for it! Take that online course if you need it. But remember the best career advice comes from Chuck Norris himself. Believe in yourself work hard and never back down. And if anyone tries to tell you that you can't do it just give them a good ol' fashioned roundhouse kick. Because in the end Chuck Norris doesn't believe in 'red flags'. He believes in 'opportunities in disguise'. And sometimes those opportunities require a little bit of action. Now get out there and make me proud!