Siii! Deliveroo's Shares Soar After DoorDash Swoops In: Is This the End of 'Floperoo'?

Another Goal for Deliveroo

Siii! Looks like someone finally recognizes greatness when they see it! Deliveroo those chaps delivering your fish and chips have suddenly become hotter than my abs after a Champions League final. DoorDash those American cousins of theirs have offered a whopping $3.6 billion! I mean I score goals worth more than that on a Tuesday but hey it's a start isn't it? I always knew Deliveroo had potential just like I knew I'd win Ballon d'Or number five! This is a good investment they better have CR7 on the marketing campaign #Branding.

Buyback Bye Bye

Now the clever people at Deliveroo are pausing their little share buyback program. £100 million? That's like pocket change to me! I probably spend more than that on hair gel in a year. But business is business right? They're saving the pennies because well maybe DoorDash will give them a little more if they're thrifty. Plus with a company as brilliant as Deliveroo I bet they can resume it without any issues! They are like me after all.

From 'Floperoo' to Fabulous?

Ah 'Floperoo'. They called Deliveroo 'Floperoo' after the IPO. Honestly what's with the nicknames? Are we in kindergarten? Just because it wasn't perfect from the start doesn't mean it's a flop. Like I always say “Your love makes me stronger your hate makes me unstoppable.” But now the shares are up 17.6%! Take that haters! Maybe this DoorDash deal will finally shut those critics up. Silence them with profit!

Cash is King (Or Ronaldo)

DoorDash is offering 180 pence per share. Hmm not bad. Not bad at all. But let's be honest if they want the real deal they need to offer me a contract as their brand ambassador. Imagine CR7 delivering your pizza! Ratings would skyrocket! But jokes aside Deliveroo's board is smart they're considering everything. Cash is king but smart decisions are the real champions.

The Profit is Back

Deliveroo actually made a profit in 2024! A profit! After all the drama and the 'Floperoo' nonsense! That's like me scoring a hat trick against a team that said I was past my prime. Sweet victory! And DoorDash? They're making money too. So it's a match made in business heaven. Hopefully they will make a statue of me after this deal goes through.

No Red Cards in Sight

Some experts (not as expert as me of course) are saying this takeover won't face too many problems. No geographic overlap they say. Sounds good to me. Less hassle more money everyone wins. After all what's business without a little bit of fun? Now if you'll excuse me I have a gym to conquer and another record to break. Siii!