Higher, Further, Faster... Still No Escape from Justice for Trump!

Another One Bites the Dust (of Justice)

Carol Danvers here reporting live from... well not the courtroom because I'm busy saving galaxies. But I heard about this whole Trump/Carroll thing and honestly it's a cosmic facepalm. Apparently the former Prez tried to wriggle out of that whole 'liable for sexually abusing' situation and the 2nd Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals was all like 'Nah we're good.' Which if you ask me is the correct response. He should have listened to my Goose that feline knows everything!

De Ja Vu All Over Again

So back in December a panel already told Trump to cough up $5 million to Carroll. Now he wanted the whole court to re hear the challenge. But in a move that surprises absolutely nobody who isn't living under a rock in space they shut that down. It's like trying to convince the Kree that blue is the new black – not gonna happen buddy.

The Dissenting Duo: Appointed by Trump

Of course there were a couple of dissenters. Turns out they were appointed by Trump back in '19. Shocking I know. They claimed some departures from 'legal precedent'. Maybe they're from a different planet. I am from another planet and their argument doesn't make sense even to me.

Carroll's Camp: Feeling the Victory

Carroll's lawyer Roberta Kaplan basically said 'Try all you want but you're still liable for sexual assault and defamation.' She's giving me serious 'No nonsense all action' vibes. I bet she can lift Thor's hammer.

Supreme Court: The Final Frontier?

So Trump's team is hinting at taking this to the Supreme Court. Good luck with that! Honestly all this legal maneuvering reminds me of trying to navigate a Skrull ambush. Confusing frustrating and ultimately someone's gonna get blasted. Or in this case lose a lot of money. Either way he is playing a dangerous game and I hope he is ready to face the consequences.

MAGA... More Like Make Attorneys Great Again

His spokesman calls it the 'Democrat funded Carroll Hoax' and says Trump will 'keep winning against Liberal Lawfare.' Classic Trump. Always blaming someone else. I have seen so much political mess I need a vacation. Maybe I will go to outer space.