Did the Rich REALLY Do Nothing During the Market Mayhem?! You Won't Believe What They Were *Actually* Up To!

Feeling the Bern... of Volatility!

Hey Cosmic Fam! Captain Marvel here reporting live from... well not space this time. Turns out even Earth's mightiest heroes have to keep an eye on the Dow Jones. So what's the buzz on this market roller coaster? Apparently the folks with the Midas touch have been playing it cool while the rest of us were stress eating Cheetos. According to some fancy wealth management peeps the high net worth crowd wasn't hitting the panic button like it was 2020 all over again. Some of them were even casually browsing the discount aisle snagging some stocks on the cheap. I mean who needs a Kree warrior when you've got a savvy financial advisor? As John Mathews from UBS put it "Like most Americans wealthy investors are feeling a wide range of emotions from the market and policy turmoil."

Dry Powder or Just Really Fancy Dust?

So what's their secret? Turns out having a Scrooge McDuck sized pile of cash helps. Mathews mentioned that many of these big money players had already trimmed their sails earlier in the year hoarding cash like it was liquid gold (get it?). This 'dry powder,' as they call it allowed them to calmly observe the market carnage and swoop in for some bargain hunting. It's like having a universal weapon against… well market dips. Who needs photon blasts when you've got cold hard cash? And as he said "There is a lot of dry powder on the sidelines right now."

Goldfinger and the Art of the Deal

Speaking of gold apparently that shiny metal is still a hot commodity among the wealthy. They're snapping it up like it's the latest Infinity Stone using it as a 'safe haven' against the market storm. I guess even the richest folks need a little security blanket even if that blanket is made of solid gold. And if you think that's crazy try explaining the concept of NFTs to a Skrull. Now THAT'S a mind bender!

The Three P's: Plan Don't Predict (and Definitely Don't Panic!)

Pamela Lucina from Northern Trust offered some sage advice boiled down to three simple words: 'Don't panic don't predict and engage in planning'. She emphasizes the importance of having ample cash reserves so you don't have to sell your assets at a loss when the market throws a tantrum. It's like having a built in Yon Rogg repellent protecting you from bad financial decisions. She added "We've been telling them forever to plan for volatility which is inevitable."

Tax Loss Harvesting: Because Even Billionaires Hate Taxes

But wait there's more! The market slump also presented some golden opportunities for tax loss harvesting and estate planning. Apparently the wealthy were busy shuffling assets around like they were playing a cosmic game of chess all to minimize their tax burden. Because even when you're rich enough to buy your own planet nobody likes paying taxes. It's like fighting Thanos all over again but this time the enemy is the IRS. And I think Thanos is more agreeable than the IRS.

Private Equity: More Like Private Mystery!

Matthew Fleissig of Pathstone pointed out that his clients weren't nearly as freaked out as they were during previous market crashes. He noted a growing interest in structured products and private equity which offer downside protection and upside potential. However he cautioned against the surge in private credit warning of covenant light deals and potential risks. So while the rich might be playing it cool it seems like there are still some cosmic sized risks lurking in the shadows. All in all what I can conclude from this is that "Higher further faster" only applies when the market is going up!