Are Your Stocks About to Be Thanos-Snapped Away!?

Wall Street Gibberish: A Galactic Translation

Alright recruits listen up! You know how those Wall Street types love to throw around the word "reset" like it's a cosmic MacGuffin? Well as your friendly neighborhood Captain Marvel (and occasional financial guru because saving the galaxy doesn't pay the bills) I'm here to tell you that it's basically code for "Uh oh something's gone horribly wrong!" It means they can't love a stock or sector as much as they once did and right now there's so many of these 'resets' happening that it feels like fighting a Kree invasion with a paperclip. But fear not! I'm here to give you the Main Street edge because in this Trump era of investing past performance is about as useful as a pager in the age of quantum entanglement. It means we have to be discerning about the stocks we like.

Apple and Nvidia: Caught in the Cosmic Crossfire

Remember that time I accidentally vaporized a Skrull ship with a rogue blast of energy? That's kind of what Trump's tariffs felt like for Apple and Nvidia. Friday evening was encouraging. I felt like I had gotten through to the president with regard to the needless punishment of Apple and Nvidia for their associations with China. Like seriously did no one realize that these companies are practically the backbone of the stock market? It seemed like we dodged a bullet when the administration issued exemptions for smartphones and computers but then Commerce Secretary Lutnick came along on Sunday and made it sound like it was just a temporary shield not a permanent force field. So Nvidia has made a commitment and is making semis here through construction of fabs by Taiwan Semi. Apple is a tougher case.

Apple's Impossible Mission: Made in the U.S.A.?

So here's the deal: Some folks in the White House have this idea that Apple needs to build a factory in the good ol' U.S. of A. to avoid getting slapped with tariffs. Now I'm all for American jobs but let's be real shifting production like that is about as likely as finding a decent cup of coffee in space. It's an impossibility! The impossibility of it all makes me think that Apple goes from "must own" to "never own," which would be a reset to end all resets. This could turn Apple into the Blockbuster Video of the tech world. The potential saving grace would be if this means phones made in South Korea are also subject to tariffs. If so Apple could steal more market share from Samsung.

The Cramer Charitable Trust's Conundrum

Look I'm not gonna lie navigating this market is harder than convincing Rocket to share his tech. I mean I was a successful fund manager and I still think it a project. I want you to know if there is additional clarity that exempts Apple but not Samsung — and from what I can tell that hasn't brought up outside of me mentioning it Friday and who knows if the White House even listened — I will have to change my mind back to my previous much more positive view. As John Maynard Keynes told us if the facts change we must change too. The problems with Apple being transferred is that it would gut earnings for years and reduce it to an also ran tech company.

Nvidia: From Tech Titan to Meme Stock Mayhem!

And then there's Nvidia. This company is seriously the bee's knees when it comes to tech. You need their chips for robots chatbots autonomous cars the works. But then I saw the options wing of the New York Stock Exchange and was horrified to see how many options were traded on Nvidia of all timeframes and that's when I realized something terrible: Nvidia's become a meme stock. It is no longer investible under these circumstances. And you know what I think of memes… (stares intensely at Goose the cat). William Jennings Bryan once famously said that "you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold," and likewise we can't crucify our portfolios upon a cross of Nvidia.

Banks Stumble Data Centers Crumble: The Reset Reckoning

It's not just tech that's feeling the cosmic rays folks. Friday's bank earnings were flat out dispiriting. BlackRock turned out to be much more hostage to the worst beginning of a presidential stock market since Herbert Hoover. Then there's the data center sector which used to be the darling of the new industrial revolution now it is now a sign of profligacy. The resets are everywhere and there's nothing wrong with doing what's necessary to protect your investments. Unless something changes radically it will be business as usual in the Trump regime and everything is minute by minute.