E=MC-SQUANDERED? L3Harris Settles for Millions Over Military Price Lies

A Relatively Expensive Truth?

Ach my friends! It appears the universe is expanding – and so are the price tags on military equipment! The Justice Department tells me this L3Harris fellows the ones building fancy toys for the army chaps had a bit of an issue with shall we say 'creative accounting.' They’re shelling out a cool $62 million for not being entirely truthful about the prices of their widgets between 2006 and 2014. I always said reality is merely an illusion albeit a very persistent one but inflating prices that’s a reality that bites!

Quantum Entanglement...of Money?

This L3Harris they even got their hands in the cookie jar for the new Air Force One! A Boeing 747 fit for a king or well you know. The plane was apparently a gift from the royal family of Qatar. Makes you wonder if they knew the original price wasn't quite how you say *kosher*. Perhaps a bit of quantum entanglement: the more money they charged the more 'gift' they were willing to give. Spooky action at a distance indeed!

No Admission Just Millions Flying Away

L3Harris bless their hearts claims no fault. Just a little disagreement like whether time is relative or absolute. They say they're committed to 'integrity.' That's like saying I'm committed to keeping my hair perfectly disheveled. A noble goal but let's see if the numbers add up shall we? Remember folks the only thing more dangerous than ignorance is organized ignorance.

The Sole Source Singularity

The government bought these gizmos through 'sole source fixed price contracts.' Sole source? Sounds like a black hole for competition. Maybe that's where all the extra money went! They say L3 failed to disclose accurate pricing data for labor and materials. It’s all relative you see. Maybe they were using a different system of measurement… like measuring time with a rubber band.

Past Sins Future Flights?

The company's staying quiet on whether they'll still work on the next Air Force One. After this kerfuffle you'd think they'd want to stay grounded for a bit. But who knows? Maybe they'll figure out a way to bend space time and deliver the plane ahead of schedule… and under budget! A man can dream can't he?

Emergency Task Force: A Newton's Cradle of Bureaucracy?

And to top it all off L3Harris is part of an emergency task force to fix air traffic control equipment! Ah the irony. They're helping keep planes in the sky while seemingly bending the rules on terra firma. Let's hope this task force isn't another example of 'insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.' Let's face it folks the universe is a mysterious place but government contracts? They're practically another dimension.