Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 1 to 10 of 136 news articles
Two men are charged with orchestrating a $650 million cryptocurrency fraud, promising impossible returns and leaving investors in financial ruin. A classic case of 'gravitational lensing' bending the truth! image
Technology

E=MC-SCAMMED! Crypto Scheme Promises 'Financial Freedom,' Delivers Black Hole of Debt

  • Tue 08 July, 2025 22:30
  • 4 minutes to read
Amazon's stock forms a bullish 'golden cross' pattern amidst Prime Day sales, hinting at a potential price surge, while JPMorgan faces valuation concerns. image
Headlines

Amazon's Golden Cross: Is a Prime Rally on the Horizon?

  • Tue 08 July, 2025 14:23
  • 3 minutes to read
Amazon's stock price forms a 'golden cross' pattern, hinting at a potential upward trend, just in time for Prime Day. image
Headlines

Amazon's Golden Cross: Is This Stock About to Get Prime-d?

  • Tue 08 July, 2025 14:23
  • 3 minutes to read
A humorous take on the Trump administration's trade announcements, tariff deadlines, and potential Federal Reserve chair shuffle, viewed through the lens of yours truly, Albert Einstein. image
Politics

E=MC Trade Wars? Tariff Time Shenanigans in Washington!

  • Mon 07 July, 2025 16:13
  • 3 minutes to read
Treasury Secretary Bessent announces August 1st as the 'boomerang' date for tariff rates, potentially giving trading partners more time to renegotiate. image
Politics

Tariff Time Warp! Trump's Trade Gambit Sends Us Back to April (Fool's?) Rates

  • Sun 06 July, 2025 16:16
  • 3 minutes to read
The ADP and BLS reports are like two observers in a quantum experiment, yielding different realities for the job market. Is the economy adding jobs or shedding them? It depends on who you ask! image
Headlines

Job Market Schrodinger's Cat: Is It Thriving or Diving? A Quantum Conundrum!

  • Fri 04 July, 2025 06:30
  • 4 minutes to read
After a long drought, the tech IPO market shows signs of life, bringing much-needed relief to venture capitalists. But is this just a flash in the pan, or a sustainable trend? I, for one, am quite curious. image
Headlines

E=MC IPOs: Is Silicon Valley's Startup Party Finally Reigniting?

  • Thu 03 July, 2025 15:36
  • 3 minutes to read
OpenAI distances itself from Robinhood's tokenized shares of OpenAI and SpaceX in Europe, cautioning users. image
Headlines

Robinhood's Tokenized Dreams: OpenAI Says 'Nein!'

  • Wed 02 July, 2025 21:18
  • 3 minutes to read
ADP report reveals unexpected private sector job losses, casting doubt on the economy's strength and leaving economists scratching their heads faster than I can solve a thought experiment. image
Headlines

E=MC...Oh No! Jobs Report Shocks Markets Like a Photon Hitting a Photoelectric Plate!

  • Wed 02 July, 2025 12:23
  • 3 minutes to read
A whirlwind tour of today's market fluctuations, from diabetes tech taking a hit to casino stocks rolling in the dough, all viewed through the lens of a bewildered genius. image
Finance

E=MC Hammered? Market Movers Shaken, Not Stirred! (An Einsteinian Analysis)

  • Tue 01 July, 2025 16:08
  • 3 minutes to read

All Rights Reserved © 2023