Is Trump Picking on Apple and Nvidia?! Cramer Sounds the Alarm!

Alllllrighty Then! What's Got Cramer in a Tizzy?

Alrighty then! Ace Ventura Pet Detective reporting live from... well my office which currently smells faintly of ferret and desperation. Jim Cramer that shouting fella from CNBC is having a meltdown! Apparently his precious Apple and Nvidia stocks are doing the cha cha slide... backwards! It seems this whole 'Trump vs. China' thing is turning into a real pickle.

Peaceful Co existence? More Like Peaceful Co Extinction!

Cramer's whining that before Trump it was all sunshine and rainbows with China. 'Peaceful co existence,' he calls it. Sounds boring if you ask me. I prefer a little excitement! But now he says it's 'scorched earth without military confrontation.' Sounds like a party except nobody brought the party favors... or the earthworms.

The Market's Gone Bananas! (And Not the Good Kind)

Stocks are plummeting faster than a toucan with vertigo! Dow Jones S&P 500 Nasdaq... all doing the limbo down to Davey Jones' locker. And why? Because global trade policies are more tangled than a baboon's backside. High tensions with China! Tariffs flying left and right! It's a regular monkey circus and nobody's laughing.

Magnificent Seven? More Like Miserable Seven!

These 'Magnificent Seven' tech titans – Apple Nvidia Tesla Meta! – are dragging the Nasdaq down with them. Cramer thinks the government's got it in for Apple and Nvidia especially Nvidia with their fancy semiconductors. Apparently Trumpy Poo thinks Nvidia isn't stopping China from getting their paws on the goods. Like I always say 'If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer!'

Apple's Stuck in the Middle With You (and Tariffs)

Poor Apple! Stuck in the crosshairs of this trade war like a poodle in a porcupine convention. They make all their gadgets in China and sell 'em there too. But the White House wants them to bring those jobs back to the good ol' U.S. of A.! Cramer thinks it's a dumb idea to 'hobble' a company that makes those shiny iPhones everyone's obsessed with. I'm with Cramer on this! Leave Apple alone! They make excellent selfie machines!

Uncertainty: It's Pervasive Like My Love for Animals!

Cramer says the Trump administration is so unpredictable it's like trying to train a goldfish to do algebra. Nobody knows what's going to happen to Apple and Nvidia! Will Trump see the light? Or will these stocks continue their downward spiral? It could go either way folks! Either way! Now if you'll excuse me I hear a meow in distress. Duty calls! *Ace Ventura sprints off tripping over a rubber chicken.*