Allllrighty Then! Trump and Rutte's 'Bromance' Saves NATO! Could This Be Any More Groovy?

NATO Goes Big But Is It Big Enough?

Alrighty then! Your favorite Pet Detective here Ace Ventura reporting live from... well my couch after scouring the news like a gopher digging for treasure! This week NATO decided to pump up the jam – I mean the defense budget! They're talkin' a whopping 5% of GDP by 2035. Five percent! That's like finding two Snickers bars in your Halloween bag... except instead of chocolate and peanuts it's missiles and tanks. But who am I kidding? I'd still prefer the Snickers.

Rutte's Got a Crush (And It's Not on Einhorn!)

But hold on to your hats folks because the real story here is the budding 'bromance' between President Trump and NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte. Rutte was practically showering Trump with compliments calling him a 'man of strength... and peace'! Sounds like someone's got a case of 'Can't Get Enough itis'! He even thanked Trump for his 'decisive' action in the Iran Israel conflict. Decisive huh? More like... potentially explosive! But hey who am I to judge? I once wore a tutu to a football game. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Daddy Dearest: Rutte's Freudian Slip?

Now things got REALLY interesting when Rutte referred to Trump as 'daddy' in a rather shall we say 'gushing' text message. 'Daddy'? Somebody needs a time out! Sky News bless their inquisitive hearts jumped on that faster than I jump on a case involving a missing Shih Tzu. They grilled Rutte about whether it was 'a bit demeaning.' Rutte cool as a cucumber (or maybe just trying to play it cool) said it was 'a question of taste.' Taste? More like... a whole buffet of awkwardness!

Trump's Predictable? That's the Joke of the Century!

But wait there's more! Rutte also defended Trump's commitment to NATO saying he's known him for almost 10 years and finds him 'very predictable.' Predictable?! This is the guy who once suggested injecting disinfectant! If that's predictable then I'm a butterfly in a hurricane. And frankly I might be at this point.

Keeping Up With the Trumps... I Mean NATO

The Washington Post even asked if the new spending pledge was just about 'keeping Trump happy.' Rutte ever the diplomat said it was about equalizing things and finally doing what the U.S. has been asking for '60 70 years.' So basically it's like that one friend who always forgets their wallet and you're finally like 'Hey buddy chip in!' Only with more tanks and fewer awkward silences. Maybe.

So What's the Verdict? SHIKAKA!

So there you have it folks! NATO's getting a financial boost Trump and Rutte are having a moment and the world is... well the world is still the world. But hey at least we have a good laugh along the way right? Just remember 'If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer!' And always ALWAYS watch out for the little guy... and the missing pets! Ace out!