ALLLLRIGHTY THEN! Stock Market's Gone Wild! Nike Soars, Bitcoin Bounces, and Uber's Playing Pony!

Nike's Got Sole (and Sales!)

Alrighty then! Gather 'round animal lovers and stock watchers! Yours truly Ace Ventura Pet Detective and financial analyst *extraordinaire* has the scoop! Nike that purveyor of fine foot coverings has leaped a whopping 10% pre market! Ten percent! That's like finding a missing dolphin and returning it to the sea... multiplied by ten! Turns out their fourth quarter results were better than expected. They say they've taken the biggest financial hit already. Like when I went undercover at the Dolphins' training camp things got a little... hairy. But Nike's bouncing back baby! They're even expecting to offset those pesky tariffs by raising prices and tweaking the supply chain. Clever girl... I mean company! HSBC those fancy bankers even upgraded them! Looks like Nike's ready to *lace up* those profits!

Trade Desk's a Desk Worth Buying?

Next up we have Trade Desk an ad tech stock that's perked up 4%! Four percent! That's like finding a rare albino squirrel! Evercore ISI says their valuation's lookin' mighty fine. Seems like the risk reward ratio has improved. Risk reward... hmmm reminds me of chasing a penguin through a crowded hotel. Risky but the reward is saving a penguin! Anyway Trade Desk might be worth a peek folks. Just don't try to train it to fetch your newspaper.

Bitcoin's Back Baby! (With a Side of AI)

Holy guacamole! Bitcoin miners are bouncing! Core Scientific that digital dirt digger jumped 7%! Seven percent! That's like finding seven missing hamsters in a haystack! Turns out they might get bought by CoreWeave an AI player. CoreWeave is staying put but other bitcoin miners that do AI stuff are on the up and up. It's like turning your pet skunk into a... well a smarter skunk! Just be careful where you point that AI folks. Don't want it ordering a thousand cans of tuna fish on your credit card. Been there done that.

AeroVironment Takes Flight!

This is getting crazier than trying to potty train a rhino! AeroVironment a defense contractor is soaring! Up 5% and marking its fifth straight day of gains! Shares are up 43% this week! Forty three! That's like finding forty three missing parrots... in my apartment! Those quarterly results must have been explosive! But remember folks sometimes things that fly too high... well you know the rest. Just sayin'.

Apogee's Architectural Ascension

Apogee Enterprises those architectural wizards are up 14%! Fourteen percent! That's like finding fourteen missing iguanas in an ice cream truck! Turns out they beat expectations. Profits and revenue are up! Analysts are scratching their heads wondering where they got that mojo! It's like trying to figure out how I manage to talk to animals. Some things are just a gift folks. A gift from... *nature*!

Uber's Pony Express (2.0!)

Hold on to your hats folks! The New York Times is sayin' that Uber's in talks to fund an acquisition of Pony.ai's US subsidiary! Pony.ai is an autonomous vehicle company. Apparently Travis Kalanick is leading the charge. This is like teaching a dog to drive a car! Ambitious but potentially disastrous... or hilarious! Only time will tell if this Pony Express will deliver or crash and burn. But remember folks *avoid the clap*... trap I mean avoid the trap!