By Hera! Stocks Take a Tumble (and Some Soar!) - Wonder Woman Reports

Boeing's Crash Landing: Not Even My Invisible Jet Could Save This

Greetings mortals! Wonder Woman here reporting on the happenings of your… stock market? Honestly it's more confusing than trying to explain Lasso of Truth etiquette to Ares. First up Boeing. Oh dear a Dreamliner went down in India. 242 souls aboard – my heart goes out to them. A tragic event. Shares plummeted 7.5% which I'm told is not a good thing in your world. Even my invisible jet has a better safety record! GE Aerospace who makes the engines also took a hit. Let's hope they figure out what went wrong before I have to intervene personally. Peace is the only victory after all but even I can be tempted to intervene to save lives.

Oracle's Olympian Earnings: A Victory Worthy of the Gods!

But fear not dear readers! Not all is doom and gloom. Oracle the cloud computing titan is soaring higher than my flight to Themyscira! They beat earnings estimates which apparently is like winning the Amazon Games. Up nearly 9%! It seems their fourth quarter was blessed by Zeus himself. They truly embody that the truest strength lies in how well you serve others.

GameStop's Meme Mayhem: A Cautionary Tale Woven in Thread of Lies and Deceit

Ah GameStop. The meme stock that refuses to die. Down almost 16% after announcing they're selling a truckload of convertible senior notes – whatever those are. They might even buy Bitcoin with the proceeds. Honestly this sounds like something Circe would cook up! 'General corporate purposes'? Sounds shady. Remember my friends not every investment is as solid as my bracelets. A fool believes what he sees.

CoreWeave Rides the Cloud Wave: OpenAI and Alphabet Partnership

CoreWeave is up more than 1%! Seems they're providing computing power for the OpenAI and Alphabet deal. Another win for technology though I still prefer the simplicity of a good old fashioned Amazonian training session. All I am ever trying to do is teach people to think of themselves as capable of anything.

Biotech Bonanza: CureVac Gets a BioNTech Boost

CureVac is jumping 30% after BioNTech decided to acquire them. A boost for biotech but let's hope they use their powers for good not evil. Remember with great power comes great responsibility... wait wrong universe. But the sentiment stands!

Space Nuclear and Banking: A Final Roundup of the Day's Happenings

Voyager Technologies is up Oklo is down despite a sweet Air Force deal (Zeus knows why!) and Chime Financial is making its IPO debut. What a day! It's all a bit overwhelming even for an Amazonian Princess. But remember 'If you surrender to your fear you surrender to your death.' So go forth and conquer… responsibly of course. Wonder Woman out!