It's-a Me, Mario! Reporting on Wall Street Shenanigans and Mushroom Kingdom Investments!

Moderna's a Magic Potion!

Mamma mia! Moderna's got a new magic potion I mean vaccine! It's a doing so well in trials even better than my super mushrooms after a long day of Bowser busting! Stocks are jumping higher than I can on a flagpole! Maybe they'll make a vaccine that lets you jump higher too! It's a me taking that!

Hewlett Packard and Juniper's Big a Merger!

These companies are a getting hitched! Hewlett Packard is buying Juniper Networks. That's a like Bowser finally deciding to buy all the Goombas – a big big deal! The Justice Department had to check if it was fair but everything is a okay now. Wa hoo!

Meta's a Got AI a Power!

Meta is a stealing... I mean *hiring* AI whizzes from OpenAI. It's like stealing Bowser's top Koopa Troopas! They're building a 'Superintelligence' group. I hope it's not like when Bowser tries to be smart because we all know how that ends – with a 'yahoo' and a tossed Bowser. I hope this Meta stuff doesn't get too crazy or Peach might ask for a new phone.

Home Depot's a Building an Empire!

Home Depot wants to buy GMS. That's a like buying all the brick blocks in the Mushroom Kingdom! They are building and building eh? More materials mean more castles I guess... but are they sure they aren't helping Bowser upgrade his dungeons?

Palantir and Accenture Team Up!

Palantir and Accenture are a becoming best pals to help the government use AI. It's like me and Luigi but with more computers and less green. They say it is going to automate everything I hope they automate pizza making so I can focus on saving the princess!

Disney's a Magical Comeback!

Disney is a getting a boost! Their parks are doing great and soon they'll have new cruise ships. Maybe I should take Princess Peach on a vacation! Less Bowser more relaxing in the sun. Wahoo! Plus they might have a new movie idea in mind. A new Super Mario Bros movie? It's a possibility!