BP or Not BP? That is the Question! (Shell Says 'Nay!')

Ares in the Oil Fields?

Greetings mortals! Wonder Woman here reporting live from the front lines of... the oil industry? Yes even I a demigoddess who prefers the simple pleasures of Themyscira (like say world peace) find myself embroiled in this saga. For weeks rumors have swirled like a Lasso of Truth gone wild about a possible merger between Britain's oil titans Shell and BP. But alas Shell has officially said 'Nein!' 'No way!' 'Absolutely not!' Or as we Amazons would say 'Hippolyta forbid!' Frankly I'm not sure what's more shocking: the potential merger itself or the fact that anyone thinks I understand the intricacies of oil futures. It's all Greek to me... literally.

From Anglo Persian to Acquisition Target: A Villain's Origin Story?

So how did BP a company that started as the Anglo Persian Oil Company back in 1909 (ancient history even by my standards) become a potential takeover target? Well it seems they tried to 'do the right thing' and go green. In 2020 under CEO Bernard Looney (a name that sounds like a character from a particularly bad comic book) BP announced a strategy to become a net zero company by 2050. Noble right? But as any good villain – I mean *business person* – knows nice guys finish last. Or in this case become potential acquisition targets. As my mother Queen Hippolyta always said 'Sometimes the quest for peace requires a little… strategic maneuvering.' Apparently that applies to the oil industry too.

Profits Surge Then Plunge: A Rollercoaster Ride More Treacherous Than Paradise Island's Cliffs?

Initially BP's 'green' strategy seemed to work. Profits soared in 2022 thanks to the war in Ukraine and the resulting oil price surge. Looney even boasted about investing billions in renewable energy. But then disaster struck! (Cue dramatic lightning). Looney abruptly resigned in 2023 and profits started to decline faster than my patience during a Justice League meeting about parking regulations. Now investors are spooked. Are BP's shares underperforming? Is their strategy flawed? Are they doomed to be swallowed up by a rival? The suspense is thicker than Amazonian clay!

The Usual Suspects: Shell Chevron Exxon Mobil… and Maybe Even Dubai?

With BP looking vulnerable the vultures are circling. Shell Chevron Exxon Mobil... even the Emirates' Adnoc has reportedly eyed BP's gas assets. It's like a supervillain convention only instead of plotting world domination they're haggling over pipelines and refineries. And let's not forget activist investor Elliott who built up a stake in BP. Seems like everyone wants a piece of the pie. Or in this case the black gold. But current CEO Murray Auchincloss insists BP is a 'strong independent company.' Sure Murray. Tell that to Ares when he's breathing down your neck.

Shell Says 'No Thanks': Is BP Too Much of a Headache Even for Them?

But Shell the supposed frontrunner in this acquisition race has officially thrown in the towel. Their CEO Wael Sawan says they have a 'very high bar' for mergers and acquisitions. Translation: BP is too much trouble even for a giant like Shell. Morningstar Senior Equity Analyst Allen Good agrees saying a deal wouldn't be worth the 'headache' unless the valuation is 'super attractive.' Ouch! Sounds like BP is about as appealing as a day old donut to these guys! Could it be BP's 'green' strategy that's making it less appealing? Is this a 'Man's World' after all?

What's Next? Will BP Rise Like a Phoenix or Sink Like Atlantis?

So what does all this mean for BP? Will they pull themselves up by their bootstraps and become a renewable energy powerhouse? Or will they be forced to backtrack and embrace their fossil fuel roots? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: the oil industry is a messy complicated business even for a superhero. As I always say 'Fighting doesn't make you a hero.' But in this case a little strategic maneuvering might be just what BP needs to survive. Now if you'll excuse me I have a Lasso of Truth to polish and a world to save. Farewell mortals!