United Airlines Predicts Profit Despite Recession?! Is This Ronaldo's New Investment?

Siiii! Profits are the Goal!

Hello it's me Cristiano Ronaldo! You know the guy who always aims for the top just like United Airlines apparently. They're talking about profits even if there's a 'recession'. Recession? Is that like when I don't score in a Champions League final? Unacceptable! United is saying the economy is 'impossible to predict.' Well I predict I'll score in every game. Confidence is key my friends!

Domestic Blues International News

So it seems United is cutting some domestic flights. Maybe Americans are finally realizing they need to see the world the *real* world. Europe perhaps? I hear Portugal is lovely. Anyway international bookings are strong which is good. People are finally upgrading their lives their travel and maybe even their hairstyle to something a little more... Cristiano!

Kirby's Game Plan: Thriving in Any Environment

Their CEO Scott Kirby says they're thriving 'in any demand environment.' Reminds me of a manager with a solid strategy. It is like I have a strategy to score a goal! He says they're expanding their lead in challenging times. Sounds like me when I was playing against Barcelona. Always aiming to be number one to be the best. That's the Ronaldo way!

From Loss to Boss: First Quarter Comeback!

They swung to a $387 million profit! A year ago they were losing money. Talk about a comeback! It is like coming back to win the Champion Leagues after being 2 goals down! They beat Wall Street's expectations too. Just like I beat every defender who dares to stand in my way. 91 cents per share adjusted earnings!! SIIIII!!!

Premium is the New Normal: Upgrade Your Life!

Ah here's the good stuff. People are paying more for 'premium cabin bookings' and international travel. Smart move! Why fly coach when you can fly like Ronaldo? It is like eating a low fat burger when you can have stake! International bookings are up 5%. Clearly people want to experience the Ronaldo lifestyle. Can't blame them!

Second Quarter Projections: Expect More Siiii!

They're expecting strong earnings in the second quarter. More profits more success more reason for me to invest maybe? I am just kidding!. Seems like United is doing things right. Remember always aim high work hard and never be afraid to celebrate your victories. Siiii! And maybe just maybe book a first class flight. You deserve it!