Siuuu-pping Slowdown? Even UPS Can't Outrun Trade Wars!

The Numbers Don't Lie... Or Do They?

Okay folks Cristiano here and even I can't dribble around this one. UPS you know the guys who deliver everything but my free kicks directly into the net reported a slight dip in revenue. 21.5 billion down from 21.7 billion. Look I lose more than that playing poker with Pepe on a bad night but for them it's a story. Apparently it's because of some 'macroeconomic uncertainty'… which if you ask me sounds like something my accountant makes up when he forgets to file my taxes. But still Siuuuuu!

Trade Wars: More Like Trade Bores!

They're blaming it on 'trade tensions.' Trade tensions? Sounds like something you get in extra time when both teams are desperate. Companies are holding back spending. Holding back! Can you imagine me holding back a shot on goal? Never! These companies need to channel their inner Ronaldo take the risk and SCORE! "Your love makes me strong. Your hate makes me unstoppable." So I advice to all these companies to use their haters as motivation.

Air Cargo: My Private Jet's Bigger But Still...

The only bright spot seems to be air cargo. Good for them! I mean I have my private jet of course but I still appreciate the convenience of next day delivery when I need say a new pair of diamond encrusted boots ASAP. Apparently their U.S. domestic segment revenue grew a bit thanks to the skies. Maybe they should sponsor my jet. I'd consider it... for the right price! Siuuuuuuu!

No Updates? Shocking!

UPS isn't changing its forecast for the year. Steady as she goes. I respect the confidence but a little excitement never hurt anyone. Maybe they should hire me as a motivational speaker. "Talent without working hard is nothing." If I was speaking for UPS I would make sure to give my 100% with them.

Volume Down Prices Up? Sounds Like My Autographs!

Volumes are down but revenue per piece is up. Hmm sounds familiar. Less quantity more value. Just like my autograph! They're learning from the best clearly. Next thing you know UPS will be selling limited edition signed delivery boxes for… well a Cristiano Ronaldo price! Haters will say it is overpriced.

The Ronaldo Conclusion: Keep Siuuu pping!

Look the world of shipping might be facing some challenges but like a Ronaldo penalty kick it will find its way to the back of the net. Businesses need to be bold embrace risk and remember the most important thing: always strive for greatness. And maybe just maybe sponsor me. After all who wouldn't want the CR7 brand on their delivery trucks? It's a guaranteed goal... for success! Siuuuuuu!