Kentucky Derby: Horses, High Finance, and Why I'm Not Betting on Them (Yet)

Kentucky Dreaming: It's More Than Just Hats

Alright folks Zuck here. So the Kentucky Derby is this Saturday. Apparently the winner gets $3.1 million. That's like a few hours of ad revenue for us. But hey good for them. I hear Bank of America's Steven Mason will be there schmoozing with the one percenters who are really into…horses. I mean I get wanting to move fast and break things but maybe not *literally* with a thousand pound animal? Still as someone who enjoys connecting people (and harvesting their data) I appreciate any hobby that brings people together.

Horses: The New Yachts (But Less Seaworthy?)

Mason says horses are a 'lifestyle.' He's not wrong. It’s a lifestyle that involves bespoke saddles and probably a whole lot of hay. Apparently some people see them as investments others as extensions of themselves. I'm thinking of extending myself with a really good AI assistant but hey to each their own. The thing is horses are 'illiquid investments.' Translation: harder to turn into cold hard cash than say Facebook stock. Good to know!

From Hedge Funds to Haystacks: The New Horse Owners

He's seeing more entrepreneurs getting into the horse game after a 'liquidity event.' Meaning they cashed out big. Like when I sold some stock to buy more Hawaiian land. Apparently even hedge fund guys are getting in on it. But BofA won't let you use a horse as collateral. I get it. Imagine trying to repossess a prize winning stallion. That's a PR nightmare waiting to happen. 'Zuckerberg Forecloses on Seabiscuit' – I can see the headlines now!

SOFR So Good? Navigating Equine Finance

So these horse loving tycoons take out private credit lines secured by marketable securities with interest rates tied to something called SOFR. It's all very complicated. Honestly I just let my finance team handle it. I'm busy figuring out how to make the Metaverse less…leggy. I mean…blocky! I meant Blocky!

Stud Fees: Where the Real Money Is (Apparently)

Turns out the real money isn't in winning races it's in…stud fees. Top stallions can command $300,000 per…uh…session. That's…wow. Maybe I *am* in the wrong business. Though I can't imagine myself having a career change. People seems to be really enjoying Threads and Instagram.

Yearlings Trusts and Client Loyalty: The Grand Finale

Demand for young horses (yearlings) is high thanks to horse racing syndicates. And caring for a thoroughbred can cost up to $60,000 a year. That's more than my annual sunscreen budget. So Mason recommends setting up a trust to care for the horse after you're gone. Smart. He says it builds client loyalty. I guess standing shoulder to shoulder discussing horse ailments is more bonding than discussing user data breaches. Who knew? So will I be buying a racehorse anytime soon? Probably not. But hey never say never. Maybe I'll build a Metaverse race track. Imagine digital horses you can't injure! The possibilities are endless...and slightly terrifying.