Boeing's Justice Deal: I Don't 'MAX'imize My Approval

When Planes Fall Justice Should Rise

The Justice Department's deal with Boeing? Let's just say it wouldn't survive a roundhouse kick from me. They're letting Boeing off the hook for the 737 Max crashes that took 346 souls. It's like giving a participation trophy to a guy who just burned down the school. Justice should be blind not starstruck by Boeing's billions. Remember 'A man's got to know his limitations.' Boeing's limitation should be facing the consequences.

Billion Dollar Bandaids on Bullet Holes

So Boeing has to 'pay or invest' over $1.1 billion. Big deal! That's like fining a mosquito a drop of blood. A criminal fine a fund for victims and some safety programs? Please. Chuck Norris doesn't need safety programs; safety programs need Chuck Norris. And families of the victims won't get closure with money. They want accountability! The only thing Boeing is investing in is avoiding jail time something my fist does not give.

Sweetheart Deals? More Like Rotten Deals

Victims' families are calling these deals 'sweetheart deals.' I call them an insult. Boeing gets to keep making planes the executives walk free and the dead stay dead. I once saw a guy try to bribe me with a whole bakery. He ended up eating every last crumb. Boeing should be forced to swallow this tragedy whole not just nibble at the edges. 'When I do a pushup I'm pushing the Earth down.'

MCAS: More Like 'Major Cover up Attempt System'

Ah the infamous MCAS. This flight control system was supposed to keep the planes flying straight but instead it sent them spiraling to their doom. And Boeing tried to hide it? That's like trying to hide from Chuck Norris. You can't. Former Boeing pilot Mark Forkner thought he could 'jedi mind trick' the regulators. He should have known 'There is no theory of evolution just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.'

Accountability: The Only Flight Worth Taking

Boeing's employees chose 'profit over candor.' In my book that's a one way ticket to a world of hurt. The Justice Department needs to remember that justice isn't about protecting corporations; it's about protecting people. I don't care how many billions Boeing is worth. You lie people die you face the consequences. 'If I wanted you to live I would have let you been born.'

My Verdict: Justice Delayed is Justice Denied Especially When It Doesn't Exist

This whole situation smells like a cover up. Boeing should face trial the executives should be held accountable and the families of the victims should get the justice they deserve. Until then I'll be keeping a close eye on Boeing and I'm not talking about with binoculars. Remember 'Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.'