Higher, Further, Faster... Into Nuclear Energy! Even Billionaires Need a Power Source!

Billionaires Gone Nuclear? What's the Flerken?

Alright people Captain Marvel here reporting for duty... and scratching my head. Word on the street (and by 'street,' I mean intergalactic comms and CNBC) is that billionaires are suddenly obsessed with nuclear energy. Apparently Starwood Capital's Barry Sternlicht the guy who probably has more real estate than I have Kree soldiers is diving into nuclear batteries with Zeno Power. These things are like microwave ovens that run for years on nuclear waste. Okay that actually sounds kind of cool even for me. But still...billionaires? Nuclear waste? Someone hold my cat Chewie... I mean Goose! I've got a bad feeling about this.

Dealmaking Dwindles? Not When You've Got Fusion!

So apparently the whole 'family office' deal making scene is down like almost 50%?! Ouch. Looks like even the mega rich are feeling the cosmic pinch. But fear not friends because nuclear energy is swooping in like Captain Marvel to save the day! These guys are seeing that AI is hungry. Power hungry! So they're betting big on nuclear to feed the machine. Now I'm no rocket scientist (okay maybe a little) but even I know that AI and nuclear power are a match made in... well not exactly heaven. More like a slightly concerning lab in Switzerland. But hey at least they're thinking big right? Higher further faster!

AI: The Energy Hog of the Future?

A UBS survey showed that nearly 80% of family offices are planning to invest in AI within the next few years. I knew those robots were up to no good! Jokes aside it makes sense that powering AI would require a lot of energy but I didn't expect it to get this far but here we are.

Griffin Jobs and AutoZone's Heir: Nuclear Power Rangers Assemble!

It's not just Sternlicht. Ken Griffin (Citadel CEO) Laurene Powell Jobs and even the family behind AutoZone are throwing their hats into the nuclear ring. X Energy a nuclear reactor startup is swimming in their investments. I guess even fixing up your car requires serious power these days. And Facebook's parent company Meta is making 20 year nuclear power deals so if you see Facebook's stock rising it's probably due to these changes.

Trump Card: Executive Orders and Nuclear Overhauls

Of course no good story is complete without a little government intervention. Apparently an executive order from President Trump is pushing for faster reactor deployment. Nothing says 'responsible energy policy' like rushing into nuclear power am I right? Overhauling the Nuclear Regulatory Commission? Sounds like a party! But hey maybe they'll actually make some progress. After all even Fury had his moments.

Bezos and DNA Data Storage: Now That's Just Weird

And just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder Jeff Bezos' family office is investing in DNA style data storage. Atlas Data Storage wants to store information more efficiently. I mean seriously? Storing data in DNA? What is this a sci fi movie? I swear these billionaires are trying to outdo each other in the 'Most Likely to Become a Bond Villain' competition. It's like something out of a Skrull plot to infiltrate Earth except way less organized. Anyway I'm going to go back to saving the galaxy. At least that makes sense. Carol out!