Trump's Auto Tariffs Cause Mayhem! But Can Chuck Norris Stop Them?

Tariffs? Chuck Norris Doesn't Negotiate With Tariffs!

The news says Trump slapped a 25% tariff on foreign auto imports and the world held its breath. Volkswagen Mercedes BMW and even Stellantis (Jeep Dodge Fiat the whole family!) took a hit. Ford and GM? They felt it too. But here's the thing: Chuck Norris doesn't flinch at tariffs. Tariffs flinch at Chuck Norris. If Chuck Norris were an economist we wouldn't be needing this article! Remember before tariffs there was nothing. Chuck Norris stared into the void and said "Let there be trade!" And there were…but now there are tariffs too!

Canada and Mexico: Chuck Norris Approved!

Apparently Canada and Mexico get a free pass because of some deal. Good. Chuck Norris believes in trade as long as everyone plays fair. And by fair I mean following Chuck Norris's rules. But even with those exemptions RBC says Canada still gets dinged a bit. Look if Canada and Mexico are okay with it so is Chuck Norris. But they better not try anything sneaky. Chuck Norris has eyes everywhere. Even in your rearview mirror!

Uncertainty? Chuck Norris Eats Uncertainty for Breakfast!

This Luman fella from ING says there's 'huge uncertainty' about Trump's tariff policy. Uncertainty? Please. Chuck Norris doesn't know the meaning of the word. Actually I had to look it up once... But point is investors are nervous. Prices are gonna jump. Car sales might slump. But don't worry folks. Chuck Norris is here. I will personally roundhouse kick the economy back into shape if I have to! It may require an Axe commercial or two.

Price Hikes? Chuck Norris Doesn't Pay Retail!

This Luman character goes on to say that prices are going up. Well Chuck Norris buys his cars with pure American dollars and a wink. Dealers give ME the deals! But for you regular folks yeah expect to pay more. Unless you can convince Chuck Norris to go car shopping with you. But be warned: I only ride in vehicles that can survive a nuclear blast and have enough room for a full arsenal.

Porsche Stellantis Volvo Beware! Chuck Norris Is Watching!

Besson from Kepler Cheuvreux says that Porsche Stellantis and Volvo are gonna feel the pinch the most. Mercedes BMW and Volkswagen too. Only Renault is safe because they have no direct exposure apparently. Look I like cars but I love freedom and fair trade more. These companies need to be smart. They need to be tough. They need to... well you get the picture. Otherwise they may get a roundhouse kick to their bottom line!

The Chuck Norris Guarantee: Drive Safe Trade Free!

The bottom line? The world is a crazy place right now. Tariffs uncertainty all that jazz. But remember this: Chuck Norris is still here. I'm watching. I'm waiting. And I'm ready to kick some economic sense back into the world. So drive safe trade free and never forget: When Chuck Norris buys a car it instantly appreciates in value! And remember when the economy sneezes Chuck Norris says "Bless you".