Lyft Buys European Ride-Hailing App FreeNow For 199 Million! But Can It Survive Chuck Norris?

Lyft Goes Euro! Or Does It?

Lyft's buying FreeNow for a cool $199 million. Now I Chuck Norris don't usually comment on acquisitions but when I do they involve roundhouse kicks and global domination. Lyft thinks they can expand into Europe. Europe huh? Last time I was in Europe I arm wrestled Zeus and won. Let's see if Lyft can handle Uber Bolt and Gett. Because in the ride hailing world it's not about who's first it's about who's still standing after Chuck Norris pays a visit.

FreeNow's Free For Now…

FreeNow formerly known as myTaxi is like that one guy who thinks he's tough until he meets Chuck Norris. Owned by BMW and Mercedes Benz? That's cute. I once built a car out of spare parts using only my beard and a wink. This app operates in over 150 cities across nine countries. But here's the kicker: they offer e scooters and e bikes too. So basically they're trying to be everything to everyone. That's like trying to out tough Chuck Norris... good luck with that!

Risher's Risky Business

Lyft CEO David Risher is saying "Now is the time!" Well let me tell you something Risher: Chuck Norris decides when it's time. Not the other way around. He says they weren't doing so hot before. Losing share losing money. Sounds like my golf game before I realized I could just stare at the ball until it went in the hole. They're improving now apparently. Good for them. But Europe is a whole different beast. And that beast just happens to have a black belt in Chuck Norris style survival.

Uber's Head Start? More Like a Headwind!

Uber's been in Europe since 2012. So what? I've been around since time began. Uber's had regulatory issues in London nearly got banned a couple of times. That's what happens when you don't have Chuck Norris on your side. They eventually got a license. Probably because they knew what would happen if they didn't: a swift kick to the legal system courtesy of yours truly. Remember Uber Chuck Norris doesn't call 911. 911 calls Chuck Norris.

Expansion: Can Lyft Handle the Pain?

Lyft wants to expand. That's ambitious. Expansion is like a good roundhouse kick. You have to have perfect timing precision and the ability to knock out the competition. Can Lyft do that? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: they better buckle up because Europe's about to get a whole lot more interesting. Especially if Chuck Norris decides to hail a ride.

Chuck Norris's Final Verdict

So will Lyft succeed in Europe? It's like asking if the sun will rise tomorrow. Inevitable unless Chuck Norris decides to change the schedule. But seriously Lyft has a tough road ahead. They need to be smart they need to be tough and they definitely need to learn a thing or two about kicking butt. Because in the end the ride hailing world is a battlefield and only the strong survive. And you know who's the strongest? That's right. Chuck Norris. The End. Or is it?