Higher, Further, Faster! SpaceX Gets Green Light for More Starship Launches (But What About the Turtles?)

Blasting Off...Again!

Alright recruits Captain Marvel here reporting for duty! Newsflash from planet Earth: SpaceX the brainchild of that eccentric genius Elon Musk just got the thumbs up from the FAA to launch their massive Starship rockets up to 25 times a year from Starbase Texas. Twenty five! Last time I checked that's more than I launch photon blasts on a particularly rough Tuesday. Remember when they were only allowed five? Talk about leveling up!

Musk's Influence: A Cosmic Coincidence?

Now here's where things get a little 'higher further faster' in a different way if you catch my drift. This launch increase proposal was submitted during one administration but the final decision magically appeared three months into *another* administration...one where Musk is shall we say 'chummy' with the guy in charge. Coincidence? Maybe. Is it also possible that reality is just a big complicated quantum field that sometimes favors those with deep pockets and a knack for tweeting? Also maybe. Makes you think doesn't it? Almost as much as the Tesseract.

Red Tape? More Like Green Light!

The FAA claims there are still 'other licensing requirements' to get through like 'policy payload safety financial responsibility and environmental impacts.' Environmental impacts huh? That's rich considering the FAA also decided that these extra launches will have 'no significant impact' to the environment. I've seen less damage after a Kree Skrull showdown. Seriously are they using Skrull technology to hide all the pollution? I wouldn't put it past them.

Kaboom! And the Wildlife Cries...

Let's not forget SpaceX's Starship test flights ended with more explosions than a Ronan the Accuser tantrum. Remember the 3.5 acre fire that destroyed nests and habitat of endangered species? Good times. And then there were the Clean Water Act violations. Seems like every time SpaceX reaches for the stars they're stepping on a few endangered turtle nests along the way. Somebody needs to tell them 'With great power comes great responsibility.' Oh wait wrong franchise...

Environmentalists Sound the Alarm (Again!)

Unsurprisingly environmental groups are not exactly thrilled. Jared Margolis from the Center for Biological Diversity expressed his 'incredibly disappointed though not surprised' reaction. Translation: They're bracing for impact and they're not talking about the kind from a rocket launch. Meanwhile SpaceX is staying as silent as a Skrull spy in a Kree war room. Seems like someone needs to remind them that it is 'Not about fighting wars it’s about ending them.'

Starbase: Now a City (Run by SpaceX)

And just to add a cherry on top of this sundae of questionable decisions Starbase is now its own city with a SpaceX employee filled government. I'm sure there will be no conflicts of interest there whatsoever. I half expect the city motto to be 'To Mars and to Hell with the Sea Turtles!' Just kidding...mostly. Guess I should keep my eyes on this. Just in case things go sideways.