Alllllrighty Then! Trump's Tariffs TURBOCHARGE Car Sales! Can the Auto Industry Keep Up?!

Shikaka! Sales Are Up!

Greetings my fine feathered friends! Ace Ventura Pet Detective reporting LIVE from the automotive jungle! Things are getting WILD people! General Motors and those other metal bending maestros are shouting from the rooftops about their first quarter U.S. vehicle sales. And let me tell ya it's a regular 'Party!' But hold on to your toupees folks because it's all happening 'cause of those tariffs Trump is about to unleash! Can you feel it? I can feel it.

GM's Gone Wild!

GM bless their tailpipes reported a WHOPPING 16.7% jump! That's like finding a whole flock of missing lovebirds! Seems those electric contraptions like the Cadillac Escalade IQ and Cadillac Optiq are flying off the lots faster than you can say 'Do NOT go in there!' And don't even get me started on the crossovers and SUVs. They're selling like hotcakes... or maybe like... warm slightly dented fenders!

Hyundai and Kia's Double Digit Delight!

Not to be outdone our South Korean pals at Hyundai and Kia are doing the cha cha with double digit sales gains! 10% and 11% respectively! That's enough to make a rhino do the rumba! Nissan Honda even Toyota are all getting in on this automotive fiesta! It's like a zoo out there but instead of monkeys throwing poo it's people throwing money at cars!

Stellantis and Ford: The Oddballs!

But hold your horses! Not everyone's doing the happy dance. Stellantis is down like a flamingo in a snowstorm (roughly 12%) and Ford is feeling a little blue with a 1.3% dip. Seems like Ford axed its Edge SUV which is about as smart as shaving a Wookiee! Poor fellas... but fear not there's always more automotive fish in the sea!

Trump's Tariff Tango: A Pricey Promenade?

Now here's where it gets sticky like a freshly chewed wad of bubblegum on a hot sidewalk! Trump's tariffs are coming this week! 25% on imported vehicles! That's like charging a fortune to pet a penguin! J.D. Power says folks are rushing to dealerships like it's the last all you can eat buffet. Hyundai's CEO even said it was their best weekend EVER! Talk about a stampede!

Will Prices Skyrocket Like a Rocket Raccoon?

The big question is will these tariffs make cars pricier than a golden retriever in a diamond collar? Cox Automotive says prices are ALREADY hovering around $48,000! Hyundai's being all mysterious about raising prices. But here's the truth folks: If you want a new set of wheels NOW might be the time to pounce! Like a tiger on a tuna... or something like that. Allllrighty then!