Another McLoughlin Needed on Remote Irish Island! Will You Answer the Call?

A Most Curious Predicament Indeed!

My dear friends it appears a rather enchanting if slightly perplexing opportunity has arisen across the pond. News reaches me from the Emerald Isle that McLoughlin's Bar a venerable establishment dating back to 1870 finds itself in a spot of bother. You see the current owner a Mr. Joseph "Josie" McLoughlin and his partner Jackie are hanging up their aprons as it were and wish to pass the torch—or perhaps more accurately the pint—to another of their ilk. As I always say it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies but just as much to stand up to our friends.

A Name Woven in Time… Or Guinness Stains?

Mr. McLoughlin bless his heart expresses a deep seated desire to keep the family name above the door. "The name McLoughlin is woven into the very fabric of this pub," he proclaims. One hopes that fabric is of a sturdy sort capable of withstanding the occasional spilled pint or overly enthusiastic rendition of a traditional Irish ballad. It would seem the thought of someone else running the pub breaks his heart. I trust his heart is as resilient as Neville Longbottom's after one of Professor Snape's particularly brutal potions lessons!

Heineken to the Rescue? A Peculiar Alliance!

Now here's where things take a rather unexpected turn. Heineken yes that very purveyor of golden liquid refreshment has stepped into the fray. They've launched a veritable dragon hunt—or rather a McLoughlin hunt—plastering billboards in cities teeming with Irish diaspora from New York to Auckland. They intend to finance a “succession package” to help the next McLoughlin get started. A strange alliance wouldn't you agree? Though as I’ve learned even the most unlikely partnerships can yield extraordinary results. Remember Quirrell sharing his body with Voldemort? Not exactly the result we hoped for but it proved the power of partnerships…

The Fine Print: A Goblin's Delight!

Of course no magical quest—or pub takeover—is without its caveats. The chosen McLoughlin will be responsible for the usual rigmarole: taxes insurance and the like. And rather cheekily they must agree to be photographed and filmed for promotional purposes. One hopes they’re prepared for their fifteen minutes of fame and that they invest in a good supply of hair wax. The terms and conditions state that the McLoughlin that gets picked to run the bar will be responsible for paying all taxes insurance fees and surcharges. They will also have to agree to share their identity publicly and do videography and photographs for advertising and or promotional purposes. Heineken also says the selected participant will be responsible for doing their own due diligence of the McLoughlin Bar and evaluate the business.

The Application Process: Less Sorting Hat More Online Form

Interested parties should they be fortunate enough to bear the McLoughlin name must fill out a form online at pubsuccession.com. Alas no Sorting Hat involved which I confess is a disappointment. One imagines the Sorting Hat would have some rather…spirited…opinions on the matter of pub ownership. But fear not my friends for the chance to keep this great pub owned by a McLoughlin for the next 155 years will make Mr. Josie McLoughlin die a happy man.

A Side Hustle? Perhaps Brewing Your Own Felix Felicis!

And for those of you not named McLoughlin fear not! There's always the prospect of a side hustle perhaps involving the brewing of a particularly potent batch of Felix Felicis. Although I must caution excessive consumption of liquid luck can lead to…unexpected consequences. Take CNBC's new online course How to Start a Side Hustle to learn tips to get started and strategies for success from top side hustle experts. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through April 1 2025. Plus sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work with money and in life. As I've always said it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live but maybe a little dreaming planning and studying might help with that side hustle.