BP to Shell: Say My Name! Corporate Heisenberg Emerges in Oil Giant Merger

A Chemical Equation for Corporate Domination?

Well well well... what do we have here? Word on the street – and by street I mean The Wall Street Journal those titans of industry – is that BP and Shell are having a little pow wow. A 'talk,' they call it. But let's be honest in this world 'talk' usually means someone's about to get bought sold or maybe... *sniffs air* ...merged. Frankly it reminds me of a certain chemistry class I used to teach. Sometimes you just need the right catalyst to create something truly... explosive. Or in this case maybe just a little more profitable. You know something like my special blue sky.

Under Pressure? More Like Under Valued!

Apparently BP's been feeling the heat. Underperforming? Please. Everyone's got their Gus Fring breathing down their neck. But let's not get ahead of ourselves with blame. Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do right? So BP is probably thinking... Shell? Oh that's a good option to grow or merge with or to get acquired. It is all good!

Shell's Cooking Can You Smell It?

Shell on the other hand they're playing it cool. Like they have all the Methylamine in the world. But even Heisenberg started small. The report says Shell isn't likely to buy the whole enchilada. Just a piece here a division there. Maybe they're diversifying maybe they are trying to be a silent partner like Jesse Pinkman.

The Devil is in the Details (and the Derivatives)

The Journal says it's early days. Negotiations are progressing slowly they say. You know how it is the money men gotta haggle. They may go back and forth until someone ends up buying a car wash. But for a company valued at close to $85 billion that is a whole lot of money for someone.

A King Sees the Chessboard...

Now I'm not saying I understand the ins and outs of corporate finance. But I know a thing or two about power. About knowing your product controlling your market and eliminating the competition. These oil companies they're all just playing a game. A very high stakes game one that could make me feel like a chemistry teacher or a corporate shark.

Stay Tuned Los Pollos Hermanos Style!

So keep your eyes peeled. This story is far from over. Whether this deal goes through or blows up in someone's face you can be sure of one thing: somebody's gonna get rich. And someone else? Well they're gonna have to *apply themselves*. More news is coming soon. You can watch CNBC for updates but don't trust everything you hear. Sometimes you need to be the one who knocks.