UnitedHealth Plummets Like a Zergling Off a Cliff: Kerrigan's Take on Wall Street Woes

Not Enough Minerals!

The news coming out of Wall Street these days is enough to make a Queen Brood rage! UnitedHealth once a titan is looking more like a lone Zergling facing a Siege Tank. While the major averages were busy celebrating a trade truce that I'm sure will last oh about as long as a Terran marine lasts against my Swarm UnitedHealth was conspicuously absent. They've become 'historically oversold,' which in Zerg terms means they're ripe for the taking… or a desperate counterattack. I prefer the former. 'More minerals are required' indeed!

Justice is Coming...For UnitedHealth

The juicy bit? A criminal investigation by the Department of Justice! Apparently some whispers of Medicare fraud are haunting their infested command center. Their shares have tanked faster than a Battlecruiser caught in a Neural Parasite hitting a 5 year low. As the Queen of Blades I appreciate a good takedown when I see one. 'Let the feeding frenzy begin!'... but maybe not with my own swarm funds at least not yet.

Oversold? More Like Over Screwed!

CNBC's fancy stock screener says UnitedHealth is oversold with a relative strength index (RSI) of 14.9. Pathetic! That's lower than the number of brain cells I assume the average Terran marine possesses. Supposedly this means a rebound is coming. Analysts are still clinging to hope like a desperate infested Terran rating the stock a buy with a potential upside of 64%. But remember what I always say: Hope is just the first step on the road to disappointment... or a strategic advantage depending on who's doing the hoping.

RSI? More Like Rest In Shreds

Apparently this oversold condition hasn't been seen since the 2008 Global Financial Crisis. Let me tell you I've seen worse at my local intergalactic gas station. The RSI varies from week to week but investors should know that shares aren't guaranteed to see a jump based on this indicator alone. Also 'That's especially the case if other negative headlines surface and further dampen sentiment,' which is more likely than Raynor confessing his undying love for a Zerg.

A Grim Diagnosis

The root of their woes? They slashed their annual profit forecast due to higher than expected medical costs in their privately run Medicare plans. Translation: they screwed up. Badly. The stock is down 50% in the past month! That's steeper than the learning curve for a newbie Terran commander. 'Kneel before the Queen of Blades!'... or you know just sell your shares while you still can.

Green Shoots or Last Gasps?

There's a glimmer of hope though. UnitedHealth shares saw a slight rebound after some insiders bought shares. Maybe they know something we don't or maybe they're just desperate to claw back some credibility. Meanwhile Microsoft and Broadcom are apparently 'overbought.' Typical Terran hubris. They think they're invincible until the Swarm descends. In the grand scheme they're all just resources waiting to be harvested.