La Pulga's Take on Google's Grand Return!
Hola everyone! Leo here your friendly neighborhood footballer. Heard the news? Google sí the 'Don't Be Evil' guys are telling some folks to ditch the pajamas and come back to the office. Five years after the world went topsy turvy they're cracking the whip. Apparently coding in your slippers isn't cutting it anymore. Reminds me of when I first started playing. You think I was allowed to practice in my pajamas? ¡No way! You gotta show up put in the work even if you feel like you're dribbling in quicksand.
Remote No More! The End of Siestas?
They're saying if you were approved for remote work before tough luck. The pandemic is 'slipping into the rearview mirror,' so dust off those office shoes. Some people moved miles away thinking they could work from paradise. Now they gotta choose: keep the job or keep the beach view. It's like a free kick – you gotta decide where you want the ball to go. And sometimes the keeper – in this case Google – has other ideas!
Blame it on the AI Revolution!
The real kicker? All this cost cutting is happening while they're pouring money into artificial intelligence. They need the cash to teach robots how to play football I guess. Sergey Brin wants people working 60 hours a week to 'turbocharge' their AI efforts. Sixty hours! That's almost as much time as I spend thinking about scoring goals! But seriously isn't there a balance? Even I take a siesta sometimes!
One Offer They Can't Refuse... Or Can They?
They're offering buyouts to some folks who don't want to return. A 'voluntary exit package,' they call it. Sounds friendly enough right? It's like when a defender gives you a friendly pat on the back before trying to steal the ball. It's still a tackle! These employees even get a one time relocation to move closer. Imagine leaving your home to work in an office!
The Messi Method: Adapt or Get Dribbled!
A Google spokesperson Courtenay Mencini says it's not a company wide thing just 'individual teams.' Sure Courtenay just like every goal I score is just 'individual brilliance.' It's about collaboration they say. But I thought we had video calls for that. I guess some people need to see your face to believe you're actually working. Reminds me of some refs I've had!
Will the Real Winners Please Stand Up?
Rick Osterloh even suggested the voluntary exit plan is for people who 'struggle with the hybrid work schedule.' So basically if you prefer working in peace and quiet maybe Google isn't the place for you anymore. It's a tough decision like choosing between scoring a goal and assisting a teammate. Sometimes you gotta do what's best for the team... or for your career! As I always say 'You have to fight to reach your dream. You have to sacrifice and work hard for it.'
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dkbush
This is why I'm starting my own company.
dmfh
Remote work is the future! Google is behind the times.
T3hZ10n
I wonder if Messi uses Google products.
baseballboy2552
So much for 'Don't Be Evil'.
CLeBlanc
I'd rather be on the beach.
tyto2820
AI doesn't need an office to work.
LilyOak
Maybe they should invest in better office coffee.
joao35
Maybe Messi should invest in Google.