Oracle's Cloud Prophecy: Cleansing the Chaos with Capital and Code

Cleaning Your Digital Room: An Oracle Overture

Right so Oracle. They've had a bit of a tidy up haven't they? And by tidy up I mean raking in more shekels than the so called 'experts' predicted. Shares are up which is always a good start because you know chaos and order. If your shares are down you're contributing to the chaos bucko. Oracle's revenue increased 11% year over year landing at a respectable $15.9 billion exceeding expectations. Good. Because as I always say 'You can't be a dragon if you're not hoarding some gold,' or in this case digital currency.

The Cloud: A Higher Order Abstraction or Just Hot Air?

Now let's talk about this 'cloud' thing. It's all the rage isn't it? Like avocado toast for the digital age. Oracle is betting big and it seems to be paying off. CEO Safra Catz who sounds like she knows how to clean her room and then some is predicting cloud infrastructure revenue to increase by over 70% in 2026. Seventy percent! That’s almost as impressive as cleaning your room every day. Almost. And she's forecasting over $67 billion in revenue. That's a lot of lobsters to buy if you catch my drift. So it seems like Oracle is taming the chaos in the cloud and making a killing while doing it. Which is a good thing. Because chaos as we know is a bottomless pit.

Partnerships: Alliances Against the Abyss

Oracle's not just doing this alone mind you. They're partnering up with everyone and their mother. Cleveland Clinic G42 IBM even SoftBank. It's like a digital United Nations all trying to figure out this AI thing together. Larry Ellison the Oracle co founder even mentioned Temu moving its infrastructure to Oracle's cloud. Temu! You know the place where you can buy a toaster for less than a cup of coffee. It seems that even the purveyors of affordable chaos are seeking order in the cloud. This is good news. Because you need to surround yourself with competent people. Not resentful incompetent people.

Capex: The Price You Pay to Tame the Dragon

Now let's talk about the elephant in the room: capital expenditures. Oracle is spending a fortune—over $21 billion in fiscal 2025 and projecting over $25 billion for the next year. It's a massive investment like buying a whole fleet of metaphorical lobster fishing boats. But Ellison says the demand is 'almost insatiable.' He's 'never seen anything remotely like this.' Sounds like they're building a digital fortress to fend off the dragons of disorder. And you know what? Sometimes you need a big dragon slaying budget to keep the chaos at bay.

The Moral of the Oracle Story

So what's the moral of the story here? Well Oracle seems to be doing something right. They're cleaning their digital room making shrewd partnerships and investing in the future. They’re facing the chaos and they are moving forward even if it’s a little terrifying. Now go forth and do likewise. Start by making your bed. Then maybe just maybe you can conquer the cloud. Otherwise chaos will conquer you.

Sorting Yourself Out One Byte at a Time

And remember the world isn't just bytes and numbers. There's meaning to be found order to be created. As I always say 'Perhaps you should be a bit more careful about generalizing from one set of tragic circumstances,' but in this case the circumstances aren't tragic. They're quite the opposite. So keep sorting yourself out one byte at a time. And maybe just maybe you'll find yourself leading the digital charge like Oracle. Or at least your room will be clean.