Order in the Court... of the Stock Market
Well folks looks like the dragon has been unleashed and it's breathing fire all over the tech sector. The so called 'Magnificent Seven'—Apple Microsoft Amazon Alphabet Nvidia Tesla and Meta—have been taken to the woodshed metaphorically speaking of course. Though I suspect some executives might prefer a literal woodshed to the red ink they're seeing. A combined $1.8 trillion vanished into thin air. That’s enough to make even Nietzsche question the will to power eh?
Apple's Rotten Core
Apple the fruit of technological temptation has been bruised the most. $533 billion gone! One might say it's a 'bite' taken out of their market capitalization. And it all seems to stem from these... *ahem*... 'aggressive' tariff plans. Trump you see he's out there cleaning his room—the room being the global economy though some might argue he's simply rearranging the chaos. It’s as if the free market suddenly remembered it wasn't so free after all.
The Nasdaq's Existential Dread
The Nasdaq that bastion of technological hubris has plunged. This isn't just a dip; it's a full blown existential crisis. The last time we saw numbers like this everyone was hoarding toilet paper and binge watching Tiger King. Now the 'Magnificent Seven' lost over a trillion. A *trillion*! It's enough to make you wonder if we should all just go back to bartering for chickens.
Tesla's Elon gated Decline
Tesla the electric chariot of the future has hit a pothole. A big one. Elon Musk must be pondering the mysteries of market volatility somewhere between rocket launches and cryptic tweets. They lost over 10% in a single day! That's a lot of Dogecoin to mine to recover those losses. 'So you're saying there's a chance?' Well yes but maybe clean your room first Elon.
Nvidia's Pixelated Panic
And what about Nvidia? Nearly $400 billion vanished! You'd think with all those graphics cards they could render a more optimistic scenario. This isn’t just about chips; it's about the foundations upon which our digital cathedrals are built. A trade war you see is a war on competence and competence my friends is what keeps the chaos at bay.
Armageddon or Just a Flea Bite?
So is this 'economic armageddon,' as some hyperbolic analysts suggest? Maybe. Maybe not. But even the most optimistic among us has to admit that the waters are looking choppy. The market’s mood you see is like a toddler's; unpredictable irrational and prone to tantrums. And just like with a toddler sometimes you just have to let it cry it out. Then you clean up the mess. And then of course you reflect and maybe just maybe try to understand what the hell just happened.
Magnificent Seven tech stocks market selloff Donald Trump tariffs trade war Nasdaq Apple Nvidia Tesla
Comments
From Jordan Peterson
Breaking News
All Rights Reserved © 2023
cat0868
Clean your room, people! It's the only way to stop the market from collapsing.
Hongtien
I told you all crypto was the future! (Just kidding... mostly.)
mona233
These tech companies are too big to fail... right?
beckish
The market is always right... until it's catastrophically wrong.
amaztheking
Time to buy the dip! Or maybe just hide my money under my mattress.
couponchaser
Thanks, I hate it.
akuseorangvampire
The Magnificent Seven... more like the Mediocre Seven now.
mt12
This is exactly what happens when we prioritize virtue signaling over competence.
cmaskell
Is this the bear market everyone's been talking about?
Cjordan
Trump's tariffs are a disaster! What a shock!