Cuba's in a Pickle D'oh What's Next

D'oh Cuba's Got Problems Bigger Than My Beer Gut

Okay so I heard about Cuba. Apparently they're in a real jam like when I accidentally super glued my hand to a donut. President Trump he's puttin' the squeeze on 'em ever since that thing with Venezuela and President Nicolás Maduro. Now Cuba's saying they're losin' oil and Trump's callin' 'em names like 'an unusual and extraordinary threat.' Sounds like somethin' Mr. Burns would say before firin' someone. Cuba's president is all like 'Surrender is not an option'. I get that 'cause surrenderin' means no more donuts and that's just not an option for me either. Doh But it ain't all sunshine and lollipops or in Cuba's case mojitos and cigars. They're rationing stuff now even fuel. I can't imagine not being able to drive to Krusty Burger whenever I want. That's just plain un American. Marge says I need to be more sensitive but hey a man's gotta eat and a country's gotta run right?

No Gas D'oh School's Out and the Tourists Are Headin' Home

So get this because of the fuel situation in Cuba international airlines can't even refuel there anymore. Like Air Canada they up and canceled all their flights. Can you imagine being stuck in Cuba without a way home That's like being stuck in Springfield forever. Marge would be thrilled but I need my Duff. And speaking of needed things tourism is like a HUGE deal for Cuba It's like donuts for me essential and if tourism tanks well they will be in trouble like when I lost my job at the power plant. Some brainiacs over at Verisk Maplecroft they're sayin' Cuba doesn't have any friends to help them out this time which is a real bummer. Even worse the U.S. is makin' it hard for Cuba to get cash and pressuring other countries to cut them off like when I put the squeeze on Bart when he owes me money. And because of all of that the United Nations are worried about a possible collapse. Sounds serious but maybe they could use a good dose of the Simpsons now that would be beneficial! I really hope they can find solutions for example Pfizer's Monthly Obesity Shot Shows Promise in Weight Loss Trial maybe they can develop a way to get gas for free or maybe they can use it to help people find ways to be more fit to help with shortages of food. All I know is that I'm happy to enjoy my donuts and Duff for now while I can. Doh

BRICS to the Rescue or Just Another Duff Blimp

Now here's where it gets interesting. There's this group called BRICS Brazil Russia India China and South Africa and Cuba is now a partner country. This professor Helen Yaffe she thinks this is a big test for them. If BRICS can't help Cuba then what good are they I dunno sounds like a job for Lisa. Maybe they should send in some Russian vodka and Chinese takeout. That always makes things better… for a little while anyway. Marge said something about a sustainable solution. BRICS might just be what Cuba needs like when I put on my thinking cap.

Civil Unrest D'oh Looks Like Trouble's Brewin'

These experts are saying that all this trouble could lead to riots in the streets which will have the regime in extreme pressure to find a way out. People need their electricity their food and most importantly their TV so they can watch 'Itchy & Scratchy'. If that stuff goes away then you're gonna have problems. A negotiated solution sounds good but I'm no diplomat. I'm just a simple man with a simple dream of eating donuts and watching TV.

D'oh Surrender is Not an Option for Cuba or for Me When It Comes to Donuts

So Cuba's president Díaz Canel he's all tough saying they ain't gonna surrender. Good for him I admire a guy who stands his ground especially when it comes to defending his right to eat donuts or whatever it is that Cubans like to eat. This whole situation is a mess and I hope they figure it out before things go kablooey.

Muddling Through D'oh Maybe They'll Just Wing It Like I Do at Work

One of these experts Munks he thinks Cuba might just try to "muddle through" which is what I do at the power plant every day. Just keep your head down eat a donut and hope Mr. Burns doesn't notice. Maybe Cuba can pull it off. They did it before. And remember even when things look bad there's always hope like when Lisa saved me from the exploding donut shop. So keep your chin up Cuba or just eat a donut that works too. Doh