From Pumps to Panic What's Dripping in the Oil Market?
So I was having brunch with Miranda and she's going on about some article on oil prices. Oil prices? I thought oil was just something I put in my bath for that Cleopatra glow. Apparently it's gone all 'Sex and the City' dramatic. They're saying it's like when Big left me at the altar only this time it's my portfolio getting dumped! Apparently they fell about 2% which for the stock market is more dramatic than when Samantha found out Richard was cheating. It's like 'Hello recession!'
Trump's Tariffs: The New 'Manolos' of Economic Disaster?
Trump bless his heart is tweeting about how great everything is. 'Oil prices are down interest rates are down…' It’s like he’s trying to convince himself more than anyone else. But experts are saying his tariffs are the new 'Manolos' of economic disaster – fabulous to look at but ultimately crippling. They think these tariffs could cause businesses to raise prices and that could trigger a recession! A recession! That's worse than discovering your favorite vintage dress is a fake.
OPEC+ and the Art of Oversupply: More Oil Than Shoes in My Closet!
Then there's OPEC+ who decided to pump more oil into the market which is kind of like me buying another pair of shoes when my closet is already overflowing. Bank of America is predicting an 'eye watering' surplus which sounds more like a bad breakup than good economic news. All this means oil prices and those 'oil levered equity values' are likely to plummet even further! This is worse than finding out that Aidan is a furniture designer.
Goldman Sachs Predicts Doom and Gloom: Is 2025 the New 2008?
Goldman Sachs those masters of the financial universe have lowered their oil price forecast for 2025 and 2026. Apparently the future of oil is as bleak as my dating life after Big left. They see prices tumbling even further which let's be honest is enough to make anyone reach for a cosmos. Is 2025 the new 2008?
Shale Producers on the Brink: Goodbye Cowboy Boots!
And if oil prices fall too low U.S. shale producers might have to cut production. One expert said that if prices go below $55 it's like the bottom falling out of the Permian Basin which as I understand it is a big deal in the oil world. I bet the Texas girls are swapping their cowboy boots for sneakers.
A One Way Trajectory? Or Just Another Monday?
So what does it all mean? One expert said the trajectory for oil prices is 'unmistakably one way,' which sounds a lot like my exes heading for the hills. But honestly in this city anything can happen. Maybe Trump will negotiate some miracle deal or maybe I'll finally find a pair of shoes that don't hurt my feet. Until then I'm stocking up on cosmos and hoping my portfolio can survive another day.
Comments
From Carrie Bradshaw
Breaking News
All Rights Reserved © 2023
vidd
My therapist says I should focus on the things I can control...like my lipstick.
donna11
I'm going to blame this on Mercury being in retrograde.
beta04
Maybe we should all just move to the Hamptons and live off the land?
rdlee
This is worse than when I realized my apartment was rent controlled...
Evandman
Anyone know a good financial advisor? Preferably one who likes shoes.
gigalord
If I have to wear flats because of this, I'm moving to Paris.
LachelleJ
I'm officially blaming Trump for my next shoe purchase
ryanchestnutt
I'm pretty sure Big is somehow involved in this...