Show Me the Money: Microsoft's Quarter
Alright listen up people. Microsoft just dropped their quarterly numbers and let me tell you it's like watching a well executed short squeeze. Earnings per share? $3.46 blowing past the expected $3.22. Revenue? A cool $70.07 billion surpassing the predicted $68.42 billion. You know what that sound is? *That's* the sound of money being made. And that my friends is music to my ears.
Azure's Reign: Cloud Nine or Just Clever Accounting?
The star of the show? Azure their cloud business. Growth at 33% with 16 points tied directly to AI. Sixteen points! That's not just growth; that's a goddamn moonshot. Nadella's been pushing this AI narrative hard and it looks like it's paying off. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We'll see if it sustains. In this game you’re either Superman or you’re kryptonite. There’s no in between.
Tariffs? Psh Microsoft Shrugs
With Trump's tariffs looming everyone's been sweating. But Microsoft? They're forecasting revenue in the range of $73.15 billion to $74.25 billion. Confidence or reckless abandon? Either way it's got balls. They're betting big on AI planning to drop $80 billion on data centers. That’s like Chuck Rhoades throwing a subpoena party – bold and potentially explosive. I respect that.
More Than Just Software: The Empire Expands
It's not just Azure though. GitHub Copilot usage is through the roof and even LinkedIn despite a soft hiring market is holding its own. The Productivity and Business Processes segment is up 10%. Microsoft is becoming a sprawling empire. You know they say money changes people. But I say it reveals them.
OpenAI: Friends or Foes? It's Complicated.
The OpenAI situation is…interesting. They've tweaked the deal giving themselves a right of first refusal but not a guaranteed obligation. Smart move. Always hedge your bets. And they had some losses on equity method investments including OpenAI but nothing that seems to bother them too much. In this world you gotta grind. You have to want to win and you have to know how to push people.
The Ax Files: Axe's Take
Bottom line? Microsoft is a force to be reckoned with. The stock is only down 7% YTD? Pfft it's chump change. But here's what I’m really thinking: they are making *me* want to buy. And you know what I say "What's the point of having fuck you money if you never say fuck you?" so buckle up. I'm feeling a strategic play coming on. Time to make some serious moves.
Comments
From Bobby Axelrod
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rett11
Wonder how much of this growth is just hype.
craigeden92
The tariffs will eventually bite them in the ass.
FreshSince1822
I'm shorting Microsoft. Thanks for the tip, Bobby!
lisaf
Axelrod's always looking for a way to make a buck. Classic.
bdrobinson803
Azure is the real deal. Don't sleep on it.
sickickz
Microsoft is like a cockroach, it just won't die.