Barclays' Q1: More Than Just Breaking Bad, It's Breaking Records (and Analyst Expectations)

Profits Up? You Bet Your Ass They Are

Alright listen up you diamond handed degenerates. Barclays just dropped their Q1 numbers and let's just say they're printing money faster than the Fed during a pandemic. Pre tax profit up 11% to £2.7 billion? That's right Billions with a 'B.' Analysts were expecting £2.49 billion? Sounds like someone needs to sharpen their fangs. This ain't a game of tiddlywinks folks. This is Barclays showing the Street how it's done. They must be Axe Capital fans I suppose...

Investment Banking: The Real MVP

The real juice the lifeblood of this operation is the investment banking division. Up 16% to £3.87 billion? That’s not just good; that's 'burn it to the ground' territory. Venkatakrishnan is singing the praises of "fairly high market volatility" but that sounds like he is just stating that when the waters get choppy that is where the big sharks like Barclays thrive right?. They rode the Lehman Brothers wave and they're still surfing the chaos. Remember fortune favors the bold... and those who know how to short a collapsing market. Who am I kidding they are just as savage as I am if not more.

America F*** Yeah! (But With Some Hesitation)

Barclays' got a big ol' footprint in the U.S. thanks to scooping up Lehman's scraps for a measly $1.75 billion. A steal if you ask me. But now they're sweating about Trump's trade war? Come on you gotta be able to dance in the rain! Venkatakrishnan is babbling about economic uncertainty. Uncertainty is just opportunity in disguise. You just have to know how to exploit it.

Rhetoric is cheap profits are FOREVER!

RBC Capital Markets is whining about Barclays' U.S. exposure. Boo hoo. While UBS is bleeding out Barclays is up 10% year to date. See what I mean UBS's stock is going down the drain. When everyone else is panicking that's when you buy. Or short their competitors. Or both. You get the gist.

Brexit: A Silver Lining? Maybe.

So Britain's leaving the EU might actually be good for business? Who knew! London gets slapped with a 10% tariff while the EU gets a 20% beatdown. Time to cozy up to the Yanks and cut a sweet deal. As for Barclays they will either make it work or they will be crushed. It is as simple as that.

Competition? Bring It On.

HSBC is bailing on their M&A and equity capital markets businesses? Santander's firing people and closing branches? Sounds like the field is clearing for Barclays to grab even more market share. This is not checkers this is chess. And I am always three moves ahead.